“Ceilings, Values, and How to be anything you want to be”

I am nothing if not a personal growth and development junkie. Even as a child, I asked for books on topics that even some hard working professionals have to force themselves to read.  For whatever reason, I distinctly remember in 1998 waiting with baited breath for the latest John Maxwell title “The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership” to be published so I could get my hands on it. It still, to this day, rocks my world. I definitely recommend that if you have not yet read the book, you owe it to yourself and everyone around you to do so.

The memory of receiving that specific book at that time is so vivid to me because my dad was a member of Maxwell’s VHS and cassette tape club much of my childhood and to me there was no one smarter, determined, or loved by others than my dad was. I know those words expose my age even though my youthful glow does not.

VHS and Cassettes! What excuse do we have now with the capabilities of all the audio files and knowledge in the world in the palm of our hands?

All of that being said, the principal that stands out most to me is

Law #1: The Law of the Lid – Leadership Ability Determines a Person’s Level of Effectiveness. To reach the highest level of effectiveness, you have to raise your leadership lid.

Essentially, you are your own worst enemy or biggest asset.

What are you doing right now, today, at this very moment, at this very hour (outside of reading my amazing words of inspiration and gleaning from my deep wells of knowledge) to improve upon yourself so that you can go further?

We love to think that the things that hold us back are outside of ourselves. This way we can blame people, places, and things for our inability to produce rather than take a cold hard look in the mirror.

Like children, sometimes we can’t move beyond the slight discomforts of action and execution to gain the bigger prize of accomplishment and achievement.

My sons would often rather lose a privilege and be disciplined then to admit their mistakes. They have more invested in the arguments, nitpicking, and faultfinding than they do in just getting their rear in gear and just do what I have asked them. “I can’t put the leg of the recliner down. I’m not the one who put it up.” “I can’t take the dog to the bathroom. I did it last time.” “It’s ______ fault I have poop on my shoe. He didn’t scoop it off the ground.” (Never mind the fact that you could have just watched where you were walking, especially since you already knew that he didn’t clean it up! Instead of letting me know it needs cleaned up, or just cleaning it up himself, it is much more fun to drag poop into the house to prove some epic point and tattle.)

I have amazing sons, but this competitive and argumentative list of excuses  could go on for eternity when all of the disagreements and conflicts just boil down to the fact that no one wants to accept responsibility and just move forward. Even when I say, “You aren’t in trouble. I just need to know”, the human experience dictates that self-preservation is preferable to self-awareness.

At the end of the day what does this mean to you and me?

We need to:

  • Immediately stop telling ourselves false narratives. While other people, places, situations, scenarios, and things inform our daily life and decisions, they are not in control of them and they do not hold the keys to our success and destiny.
  • Identify where the ceiling is. What is truly holding you down? Once you identify your ceiling, the things that you once thought were ceilings will become floors to your next level of personal growth and development.
  • Establish personal responsibility and growth as a core value from which you make all of your decisions. Core values are constant. They are not descriptions of the work we do or the strategies we employ, they are just simply the basic elements of every day of our lives.

In 2010 when I started my fitness and weight loss journey, physical health and being in shape started to become a core value of who I am.

  • I don’t run. I am a runner.
  • I don’t just fit in exercise. I am a physically fit person.

See how that wording shifts the conversation?

If you just say, “I run”, you can easily dismiss the act of running if you don’t fit into your day. However, if “I am a runner”, it is the essence of who I am and I make it happen. I don’t just “mother” my children. I am their mother. There is actually a big difference. Anyone can “mother/nurture” them in a pinch or for a moment in time (School teachers. Babysitters. Grandparents.), but nobody else in this world can be their mother. It flows from my essence.

To begin exploring your own values and begin taking the limits off what you are capable of, think about your life and all of its components and begin rating them.

  1. Things I value very much: These are the things that are your very ESSENCE. An example for me is my physical fitness. Most people don’t value this as much as I do and therefore make excuses about why they can’t or won’t engage in daily exercise.
  2. Things I value: An example of this for me is financial gain. I do value financial gain and I want to be a wise steward of my family’s income and spend with frugality, however, money is not a top priority for me. I don’t value it enough to chase it over something I value very much.
  3. Things I don’t value very much: An example of this for me is a jam packed extracurricular social schedule. Every aspect of my daily life and work is to be surrounded by people and in relational and social settings, as well as run like wild, dragging kids between sporting events, hangouts, and practices full of even more people to socialize with. Because of this, I oftentimes neglect getting into social settings that aren’t work/ministry/leadership/parenting related because I value a little silence here and there. This can be a slippery slope because I know I need my relational cup filled instead of always being the one pouring, so I’m working on balance, but the point is, you most likely won’t find me at a RAVE until 2-3AM every Friday and Saturday craving a party.

I will continue to write about personal development, growth, and life changing transformation, as it is my sweet spot, I have experience in and with it, and I think it is fun to be encouraged and challenged. That said, Are there any particular topics or avenues in this space you would want me to cover?

Monday Musings: Do streaking and productivity hacking have validity?

“Rule of thumb: The more important a call or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.”

Steven Pressfield

Today, January 30, 2017, I kick off a writing streak. Notice, I said writing, not necessarily posting. You may or may not be privy to the musings of my mind during the next 30 days as I attempt to improve upon, and even solidify, my calling as a writer. It is possible that what I put on paper will not be fit for human consumption, and that is ok. Not every basket that Lebron gloriously puts in is seen.

They, the powers that be, say that in order to be an author, blogger, or writer (individual that puts words on paper), you must actually be engaged in the practice of regularly writing. This sounds like common sense, except that it is not entirely true. I have long been a self-proclaimed wordsmith and dabbler into all mediums communication related, except that my writing has yet to be read by many people. Sure, I’ve actually been published on a few websites and in a smattering of periodicals. I’m also positive my Master’s thesis was perused by at least 4 people, of whom I have no doubts lined up with eager anticipation to devour it. (We will pretend that payment to do so did not effect their decision to read my work.)

However, to be a writer, in my opinion, you actually need more than words on paper, but an audience with which to share, mothers and spouses not included.

This is where the 21st century has been simultaneously kind and cruel. The kind part is that the internet, blogs, and social media has given everyone the opportunity for an audience. The cruel part is just a repeat of the kind part.

I do not know what it is that holds me back from doing some of the very things that:

  1. I feel called to
  2. People tell me I’m good at
  3. I actually enjoy once I get started

Steven Pressfield, author of many international bestsellers, would say that I’m just a victim of the “resistance”. Resistance is the unseen powerful force that holds us back and tells us lies. Steven may have popularized the concept of “resistance” in his completely life changing and worthwhile read “The War of Art”, but the apostle Paul seems to be the OG because he so eloquently stated in the bible that he was battling it every day.

15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. …..19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.

.Romans 7:15 and 19 New International Version (NIV)

 Alas, here is where the Monday Musings come into play:

  1. When I don’t do something I’m compelled and called to do is it a sin even if the very act itself is not a sin? (IE: I love to write. Feel called to write. Entertain and inform people when I write but, outside of work, past academic achievements, leadership responsibilities, friendly communications, and public speech development, I rarely write).

    Wow! I’d just rather not think about it.  Or, better yet, is the very thing I so expertly push aside the exact thing God is wanting me to think about in 2017?

  2.  Do I have things to say that people actually care about? Well, I guess that remains to be seen. I know one thing, I’m going to try my best not to let imposter syndrome or fixating on “results” hold me back. What good is chasing results if you’re not even putting in the work worthy of a result?
  3. So called experts tell you to have a specific audience in mind and narrow the interest window of those you’re writing to achieve maximum success, but I want to write about all the things that currently are the sum of my life. The good news is that other experts say to write about what you know about and that real life stories and experiences are the most fascinating things one can share. I guess I’ll figure out which expert is correct, the one who tells me to exclusively focus on food, fitness, leadership, theology, women’s issues, family issues, or any topic I chose so long as I choose just one of the above topics, or the expert that says to write about what you know about and love?I can’t let my “fear” of covering the various topics that fuel me hold me back. At some juncture I will maybe settle into a cohesive pattern and rhythm of what is the best for me to share and say, however, until then, the resistance can keep lying, but I’m not listening.
  4.  I will test the “productivity” hack who shared with me that streaking is the best way to start and solidify a habit. The truth is a “productivity” hack is kind of an oxy-moron. Sure you can hack your brain and your life systems some, but at the end of the day success, productivity, time management, financial success, a hot body, and emotional wellness can only be “hacked” if you regularly use 4 letter words, well, at least one 4 letter word WORK.

What, if any, topics would you like my rabbit chasing brain to cover on this blog?

As a prequel, be prepared to hear about my marathon training, what I’m eating (or not eating), coffee, books I’m reading and reviewing, my family, my friends, my public speaking and communication endeavors, my church, leadership, and anything else I’m compelled to share.

Do not worry, I am confident that by February 28, the final day of my streak, daily writing will be such a habit for me that you will have me around for a very long time, thus, will have ample occasion to hear/read it all.

Change is not a 4 Letter Word

People love a good weight loss story. Since it is still technically January, I’m assuming many people are still at least attempting to maintain some semblance of resolve with their goals for 2017, and research shows a good portion of the US determines to lose weight every January. In that vein, I want to just share with you a few tidbits from my weight loss and running journey so that you have a better framework of where I’m coming from.

Lately, I’m always accused of having a fast metabolism and of being a skinny girl. This brings me equal parts satisfaction and frustration. The satisfaction portion is obvious, but the frustration portion is that I work like my life literally depends on it to maintain my current physical state.

As an individual that recognizes that one’s mind, body, and spirit must be in alignment for passion and purpose to fully collide, I reassessed where I was at in my life when I was staring down the barrel of turning the big 3-0 in 2010. I was out of shape, 60 pounds larger than I should’ve been, fat, flabby, and apparently a willing accomplice to this physical state of being. I was the perfect martyr, complaining that genetics dealt me this hand.

I had always struggled with weight and body image to a degree, but after I became a mom to my two boys, I had somewhat settled into it and felt it was my destiny. I’m never going to be tiny and one pearl of old age is self-acceptance. I have always been confident in everything, except my physical appearance, and I had decided I was done feeling bad about myself for how I looked.

Something, however, flipped in me as my waist bands grew tighter and my scale kept creeping upwards. I was never a lethargic individual, but I knew as I got older that would become my new norm if my pant size continued to grow in proportion to my age. I don’t mind adding chronological years, at least it means I’m still alive, but I decided I didn’t have to grow old and I certainly didn’t have to be old and fat. There were more reasons to lose weight than to try to look like a super model and for the first time in my life, true balance, health, vitality, and wellness were my physical quest.

I’m now fit, semi addicted to running (of which I never dreamed would occur. I couldn’t’ even run one mile when I first ventured out), energized, and more passionate about every area of my life than ever before. I am learning to celebrate the highs and lows of my life while gaining wisdom, knowledge, and experience, and I love sharing that spirit of celebration with others.

Regularly running marathons is now my current hobby of choice, and at one point was on a run steak, running every single day with no breaks, from November 17, 2011- May (well I blocked the exact date because it felt like a divorce) 2013.

I know I haven’t shared the who, what, when, where, and how’s of this journey in this post, but if you read the archives, you’ll find some information, and I will periodically revisit this topic.

Everyone needs someone they can identify with, learn from, and live in relationship with and I’m putting myself out there to hopefully be that person for someone and in the process, let you peer into my home, head, and heart and glean from you.

The truth is, YOU CAN DO IT!

I’m a multifaceted person.  I vacillate from fitness guru to theologian to mom to foodie to psychologist to marriage counselor to motivational speaker to wife and back. I’m not an elite athlete. I’m just a girl who was born into an overweight family with terrible genetics that decided to rewrite her health and fitness story.

The greatness realization of this journey is that people aren’t kidding when they tell you the mind, body, and Spirit must all be aligned and working together for wholeness and wellness.

Do you have any body and fitness transformation stories to share in the comments and discussion portion?

 

Simple, but grand

A healthy relationship is one where two whole people make a commitment to help make the other person the best version of themselves.-Wendy Treat

Today my husband asked me if I needed any help. I had worked all day to get several projects finished and was in the post school, cook and scarf down dinner, clean it up, wrap up loose ends and run frantically out the door for a church function whirlwind. That morning between packing lunches, dressing boys, doing my daily devotionals, hiking in a blizzard to the bus stop, and working out at the YMCA, I had stripped all of the beds, washed the sheets, and somehow also managed to wash my sweaty run streak clothes.

(Full Disclosure: I’m a gross person and in the winter will often wear the same outfit 2 days in a row on my runs. In the summer I don’t do this because I start smelling like a zombie, but in the winter I bend the rules of polite social conduct.)

I asked my husband if he was sure he wanted to ask that, and he assured me he was. Do you know that wonderful man not only asked me if I needed help, but then followed through? He put the clean sheets on the boys bunk beds and made their beds. For sure it benefited him to do this, otherwise the boys would be up all night waiting for me to finish after we got home from our event, but it was an unnecessary act of kindness.

The life lesson in all this is that any wonderful relationship is made up of a series of these unseen, untouted, simple grand gestures. A phenomenal marriage is usually the outcome of a daily choice to carry the weight of life, responsibility, family, and fun with each other. Although he’s always good at speaking my love languages, it’s the unexpected extra mile in a frantic moment that keeps a girlish smile on my face. Yes. It is possible to have the rush of an adolescent crush in a mature, seasoned relationship. I’m racking my brain to see what I can do to one up him. Let the games begin.

What simple, unexpected thing can you do today as a grand gesture of love, commitment, and relationship?

Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. (Romans 12:10 NLT)

At the finish line of the 2013 Akron Marathon together after running 26.2 miles side by side. He’s the best pacer.

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The Chobani Principle

Surround yourself with dreamers, doers, and believers. But, most of all, surround yourself with those who see greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself.- Sheila Gerald
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Nutritional benefits aside, Chobani tastes amazing!! It always pairs best with my other love, coffee (especially Starbucks)

 

 

I am Jessica and I have become a Chobani addict. I absolutely love their Greek Yogurt. In fact, to make it affordable, I buy it by the truckloads at Costco. I have been known to make special trips to Costco just to ensure that my supply never runs low. The highlight of my January was that both Target and Giant Eagle had Chobani on sale at different moments, opening up the opportunity for me to explore and indulge in the flavors not offered in the Costco superbox.

Upon opening up my Chobani this morning, (which by the way is a perfect pre-run food item) , and promptly licking off any excess yogurt that stuck to the lid (I am that person), I had a flash of inspiration. What if I approached everything in my life like I approach Chobani yogurt? It may seem like my daily Chobani obsession was easy to come by, but in fact, my relationship with it started very tumultuously.

I have always been a lover of yogurt and a calorie counter. Even when I was at my highest weight and was totally out of shape, I was still aware of every calorie that I consumed. I was never mindless about my destructive choices. That being said, I was locked into eating “Light and Fit” yogurt because it was 80 calories and fat free. I kept hearing about Greek yogurt and all of its benefits, and yet I just kept eating the yogurt that had little to no protein and that had artificial sweetners just because it was 80 calories versus the 140 in most Chobani individual fruit cups.

How many things in life do we get stuck on, even good choices, when something great is out there waiting for us but we refuse to even try? “Light and Fit” was a good choice, but Chobani has turned out to be a great choice. Chobani leaves you feeling full, the flavor is much richer, and it has more of all of the good stuff that your body needs. (I was NOT compensated at all for this post. In fact, nobody at Chobani even knows I exist.)

The Chobani principle, which I invented in case you didn’t know, has turned out to be a small step to a lot of big change. I had honestly never eaten Quinoa, Hummus, or a whole other host of body nourishing and delicious items before because I was stuck on eating “diet” foods and ate what was familiar.  It is an educational experience to learn that not  all health foods are diet foods. In fact, chia seeds have an enormous amount of calories and almonds are chock full of fat. There are a lot of good things in life, like calorie counting and watching what you put in your body, but there are even greater things like focusing on your health and achieving specific wellness goals. There are containers of Chobani in every area of your life just waiting for you to peel the lid off and give it a shot.

Can you believe that I used to cook and serve Minute White Rice for my family and myself? I am horrified every time I think of it. My 899 pound bag of organic brown rice that I buy at Costco tastes so much better, fuels our bodies, and the only change it required for me was to actually buy a rice cooker and realize that minute rice might have been a good choice for one season, but greater choices were out there.

FYI: Rice cooked in a rice cooker is infinitely more delicious that what is cooked on the stove or microwaved in some lab generated instant package.

I guess the point I’m getting at is that the Chobani Principle applies to everything. What paradigm shift do you need to make (for example obsessing about calories at the expense of true health and nutrition) that will take you to the next level? What products do you have brand loyalty to that might not be the best option for you and your long-term mind, body, spirit goals?

Paradigm shifts that I’ve encountered since turning 30:

  • I used to hate running and could never run even a mile—I’m now a marathoner.
  • I used to obsess about my weight all the while watching it creep up or yo-yo everywhere—–I now stay within a 3-5 pound range with minimal “extra” effort (I still count every calorie and run like a crazy person so I guess some of you think that’s way more than minimal “extra” effort, but it’s really not. It’s habit now.)
  • I used to think texting was horrible and didn’t even have it on my cell phone plan. I mean, why can’t you just call me?——I finally added it to my plan and now hate being called. Hooray for convenience!
  • I used to obsessively clean up every single item my kids played with and dragged out without concern of the stories they would tell their therapist about Type A mom one day—–I now wait until they are on the bus to restore the order I need or wait until Sunday night/Monday morning before I take everything they own and hide it somewhere. They actually are now allowed to play in the family room and have books and toys in there and their therapist can be regaled with stories of how cool and fun mom is instead of how she was obsessively cleaning 24/7. It’s almost like they live in their own home and have rights associated with that just like I do… Fancy that!!

As you can see, there are many ways to apply the Chobani principle. How will you step out of your comfort zone today to see long-term goals realized?

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Shameless bragging in 3, 2, 1……….Both boys had parent/teacher conferences yesterday and both boys are rocking out in academics and behavior at school. Maybe I gave them just enough of my Type A to succeed, but not enough to cause psychological distress 🙂

Step by Step

Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are strong in spirit. (3 John 1:2 NLT)

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAA picture I stumbled across yesterday of myself with my cousin Paul 2 weeks before I started my mind, body, spirit transformational journey.
 

iPhone Fall 2012 to Fall 2013 Jess 607

Versus a picture of me this past summer (2013) with my beautiful aunt (You caught me looking at family photos yesterday!)

Today I had a reminder of how powerful habit is in our life. Besides celebrating Day 807 of my runstreak (which means for that length of time I’ve run everyday with no breaks), I had an interesting conversation with my husband. I don’t like to talk about our fasting a lot on the blog because I feel like that is a personal decision that we make to honor God in our lives, however, I feel that in the interest of exposing how I achieve my mind, body, spirit balance and how I am going about my “one word” for 2014, alignment, I thought I could let you in a little bit.

We begin each year with a 21 day Daniel Fast. I have spoken about it before in previous blogs, but you can also google it if you are unfamiliar with what it entails. We also fast at least one day a week, and in addition, kick off each month by fasting 3 days at the start of said month. The purpose of our fast is multi faceted, but one of the benefits of it is increased health and vitality.  It is not a magical spiritual, mental, or physical bullet, but step by step you grow in every area of your life and start to see God’s blessing increase with each new season of fasting and prayer.

Physically, there is no doubt that when you eliminate grains and animal products, your body isn’t using as much energy in the food/digestion area which releases it to execute more exciting uses of energy. I will be dabbling more into different food choices and detox strategies later this year that I will write about and keep you informed on, but for now, I just want to encourage you on the power of habit. The Daniel Fast is much more spiritual for us than it is physical, but you can’t separate the two. Some of my food detox journeys and research undertakings have little spiritual focus. They are just me pursuing the best physical and mental me I can be, but without a doubt, every time I’m my best physically and mentally, I’m also my best spiritually. It is a circle.

We ended our 21 days at the end of last week, and yet when faced with what to eat for lunch today, my mind only gave me the options that were “Daniel” approved. It was like I had forgotten that my typical egg sandwich was even an option or that pretzels weren’t “forbidden” foods. Am I cured from my cravings? I doubt it. When my mileage amps up the closer to the marathon we get, you better believe I’ll be elbow deep in all natural ice cream and other treats, but for now my new and reset habit system will allow me to further my health goals with little to no effort on my part.

Because I’ve been making good choices, good choices have become automatic. One decision for a cheeseburger won’t derail my life, because my habits are set. One busy day will not keep me from a life of bible reading and devotions because my  habits are set. There will be occasional steps out of the healthy habit train and that is fine with me. I’m in this for life. I’m not an ethical vegan or vegetarian and I have no known food allergies, therefore I have no real deep and meaningful reason to “deprive” myself.

The cool thing about habits is that once the correct ones are cemented, you don’t feel deprived, ever. Habit makes the automatic wise choice for you 96% of the time and that makes it possible to be “bad” the other times. See, there is no black and white. Gray is where the party is at, but your brain and body won’t let you “party” too much because it will desire to return to its setpoint or habit structure.

God created us for far more than we give ourselves credit for. We are generally so busy fighting our human nature with its impulses and temptations that we forget to lean into the momentum that God has stored up for us. God created our brains and bodies to embrace habit and instead of utilizing this amazing computer program he downloaded into us, we are constantly trying to uninstall the very thing that could take us to the next level.  We stop celebrating how far we’ve come and start seeing how far we have to go.

We label segments of our life into categories:

  • Black and white. Good and bad. Wrong and right. Cold and hot. Pessimism and optimism.

Could it be that many things we weigh ourselves down with mentally, physically, and spiritually were never meant to be categorized? Could it be that we have never embraced gray areas?

We stunt ourselves by not embracing the gray areas. There really is no good or bad. Something is better than nothing. Take it step by step. The reason this lifestyle change has stuck is because I approached it with the lens of legacy and the long journey.

Never stop celebrating how far you’ve come. Always build an altar of memories poised for praise (photos in this blog are to jog my memory and celebrate the journey). Sure there is still a long way to go. Sure there are still mental, emotional, spiritual and physical demons to slay, but what if instead of worrying about the unseen, we just baby step our way to the legacy we want to leave.

One day at a time your habits will change to match your dreams and decisions that once stressed you out will become automatic no brain choices. How would it feel to  use your willpower for greater things than survival mode? What if instead of fighting food cravings and a lack of desire to exercise you could use your energy and will power to fight for social justice? Seem like a leap? It isn’t. You can do it. I did it.

My brain and my body were created for more than considering what to eat and what to wear. God put greatness in me and I’m going to live a long healthy life pursuing his promises, living out my purpose, and declaring hope.

When negative thoughts bombard your mind, say, “I am strong. I am well able. I have what it takes. I can do this.”-Joel Osteen

Endurance: A 4 letter word.

Through endurance ……. we might have hope. May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another… that together you may with one voice glorify ……Jesus Christ.  (Romans 15:4-7 ESV)

Endurance is a dirty word. Endurance conjures up images that we don’t want to see and emotions that we would rather not feel. We get images, or perhaps flashbacks of personal experiences and traumatic events. Pictures of the sweat soaked, dehydrated athlete, the parents of a newborn child who enjoys frequent 2 AM parties, the years of loneliness and betrayal at the hands of an abuser, or the sleepless nights finishing up a PhD dissertation fill our mind when that cursed word is uttered.  Everyone wants a gold medal, but few want it bad enough to sell out for it.

This week we paused to remember and honor the life of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I have had the privilege and simultaneous horror to visit many stops in Alabama that played an epic role in the civil rights struggle of this nation. The truth is, anything worth fighting for is going to leave with it a long trail of tears. Whether the tears are  temper tantrums (because we don’t want to push ourselves, make difficult choices, and get our hands dirty) or legitimate gut wrenching productions doesn’t matter. Ultimately the key to enduring anything is to exercise your “No” muscle (self-denial) and to experience frequent paradigm shifts (perception and thoughts). Dr. King’s dream fueled his passion and was greater to him than momentary discomfort.His bend was to focus on the greater long-term cause than the immediate injustices.

Most people who achieve greatness have done so not in spite of adversity, but because of it. Take the marathon for example. Perhaps if you were in great shape, ate totally clean, had all the stars aligned for you, and were 21 years old you could wake up one day and decide to run a marathon and finish it. You, in fact, would not be able to move the next day, but it would be possible to finish under such circumstances, especially if you didn’t care how long it took you. For the rest of us though, it is the daily discipline of fighting through struggle that prepares us mentally and physically to get the starting line and then subsequently to finish strong.

This is why I love running. It is the ultimate metaphor for life. As a student of the Holy Bible I find so many spiritual and philosophical parallels to life on this earth and physical fitness. Building physical endurance makes mental, emotional, and spiritual endurance easier.

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If I can run 9 miles in -4 degrees outside (which I did yesterday), then certainly I can let someones snide comments roll off my back. Running helps teach you when and how to react. Your stride matters.

I love how the Bible links endurance and encouragement. The fact of the matter is that if you learn to stretch yourself and push beyond, the encouragement that fills you will be overwhelming and it doesn’t require anybody else. I encourage myself. If you congratulate and encourage me, great and awesome and I love you and I need it. However, if you don’t, it doesn’t ultimately matter because I have proven to myself that I can do anything if I learn to endure.

Perhaps it seems simplistic to link running with the civil rights movement or to great spiritual accomplishments, but the physiology and the psychology are the same.  Endurance brings success which brings encouragement which builds more endurance and that generous helping of encouragement and endurance fuel hope. It’s hard to feel hopeless or stay down for the count when you know that greatness lies within you and the only way to be assured of greatness is to have proven to yourself that you CAN and you WILL. I’ve changed my mind. Endurance is not a dirty word, but it is in fact a 4 letter word: HOPE.

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A Big Deal

Exercise in the morning before your brain figures out what you’re doing.

(Thought in my head every time I run in pitch black darkness. Do I love a 5 AM alarm? No. Is it magical to run when the rest of society is asleep and you can still see the moon? Absolutely. Is being done with your run before you even take a sip of coffee rewarding? For some strange reason, yes!)  Full Disclosure: I prefer about 7 pots of coffee before my run and an additional 2-3 after my run, but you can’t always have it how you want it. 🙂

Basically I’m kind of a big deal. The evidence is below. Some of you may already be aware of this, but for those of you that aren’t, brace yourselves. I, Jessica Buckland, was a supermodel for the Akron Marathon race guide in 2013 (bottom left photo). I’m a little late in reporting this news to you because, frankly, I forgot about it, but I didn’t want one additional moment to pass without informing the world that Andy Warhol knew what he was talking about. I’m living my “15” minutes and I’m capitalizing on it, taking my existing celebrity and turning up the volume. (All jokes aside Jonathan and I were interviewed on race day for the Akron Marathon commercial. Be on the lookout. He said we were so good that he thought we worked for the Chamber of Commerce.)

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In 2014 my “word” is alignment. For peak performance in body, soul, and spirit, I am instituting more frequent tune ups in my life. Alignment is a game changer, although its quest can include pain. If you have ever been to a massage therapist for deep tissue work or a chiropractor to get cracked, you understand that small things can be hindering an otherwise healthy person from achieving their personal best.

In my quest for “self actualization/living God’s absolute best for this one life I have”, I have hit up many friends, mentors, and confidants to speak into my life. This week, two such people said some things about areas of my life that could have been difficult to receive, but instead left me inspired to do more, try harder, and go all in. It is a blessing, not a curse, to surround yourself with people committed to seeing you succeed. Success is conceived in the “dark room” before it ever born for everyone to admire.

About 24 hours after one of the conversations, I saw this tweet from Donald Miller that resonated with me. I don’t know about you, but at the end of my life I don’t want saddled with regret. I want to have lived out my purpose.

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If you really want to be a big deal, surround yourself with encourager’s, yes. However, and most importantly, surround yourself with people who can talk about the tough stuff with you and make you leave believing that you are a big deal and that you are worth the effort and valiance of honesty.

It is imperative to know which people have your ideal destiny in mind rather than their own motives, distorted philosophies, and intentions. If the truths being spoken over you aren’t wrapped in love and pom poms, run from such people.

Not everyone has your best interests at heart. Some people aren’t healthy enough to have a front row seat in your story. Know which seat at the table of your life to put everyone in, and then just pursue your vision of an ideal future knowing that God has already gone before you and that goodness and mercy are chasing behind you. Everyone has an opinion, but not every opinion counts. You are a BIG DEAL, now just surround yourself with people that believe that with you and will help you maximize your potential.

It’s fun to go exploring!

“A pioneer extends the boundaries of the possible and violates the laws of the impossible.”-  Brian Houston

“Every expedition requires a first step.”- Me

This week is the  first official week of my 18 week Cleveland Marathon Training Plan. I am once again following Hal Higdon’s plans, with some slight modifications made to accommodate my runstreak and my current schedule. You don’t have to run the designated miles exactly on the designated days. Like anything in life that you will stick to, you take the plan as a template and then become flexible to actually make it happen. I’ve learned that to successfully be a Marathon runner you must embrace the entire training season as an organic organism that needs proper attention, nourishment, and dedication, but that also needs to find a way to exist in the reality of my world.

My personal modifications, as of now,  are to run a 5K warm up for strength training on the cross training day (I may even up my bicycling this summer because running high mileage weeks at the peak of marathon training takes its toll on my hips and just do 1 mile run/_____mile bike ride on cross training day just to satisfy the streak.), and I run 2 miles every Sunday at 5AM on my “off” running day.

Running is a way for me to explore not just nature, but the depths of my brain and the heart of God. I think many of us just get stuck in ruts because life is hectic, we get very little fresh air, and we are always dreaming and never doing. Running is the marriage of dreams and actions and endorphins.

Children don’t have the rut problem. They are full of life, zest, zeal, energy, and all of the confidence in the world.  However, at a certain point, around 2nd grade they start believing the scripts that other people try to write for them. They start thinking that maybe their dreams are too great or that they are too fat or that they are too slow. They start asking questions about money and worrying about how they line up with their peers. Essentially, they learn to start living in safety and using others a gauge for their happiness and success instead of exploring every whimsy that comes along. Each year brings a new opportunity to encounter a negative word from a bully and the inevitable experience of a crushing life circumstance starts reinforcing to them that the world is perhaps not the personal oyster that they thought it was.

Fear starts to take  over.

Average starts to set in.

The call of mediocrity and the siren song of “fitting in” beckons.

The child that use to peek under the public bathroom stall out of simple curiosity of what is on the other side, becomes a citizen of polite society.  What starts as good parenting (obviously you don’t want your 12-year-old watching people use public bathrooms. That will get them arrested.) and protective guidance, can quickly turn a pioneer into a cog in life’s machine. Parents inadvertently choke out their child’s inner Christopher Columbus.

If you have felt the call of the wild. If you have felt the urge to do something beyond what you think is in the realm of possibility for you, just do it. It only takes one step. One small decision today will snowball into an action tomorrow that will catapult you into becoming the person you always dreamed you could be but that life had convinced you was no longer possible.

Maybe I am just crazy, but I believe that you can reinvent yourself continuously. Pursuing passions and dreams and finding yourself again through exploration will put you in the driver’s seat of your life and reduce that feeling of being a victim in your personal storyline. You are the author. You decide your trajectory.

If you can find a way to forge into the unknown and bring others along with you, you will find contentment. Safe is boring. If you don’t explore your dreams, feelings, and goals because of a fear of failure, your life in 9 years will look exactly as it does today, perhaps even less adjusted. A lack of exploration and a lack of trying new things will keep you exactly how you are right now or send you into decline with unrequited ambition.

So, today, revert back to toddler hood, peek under the bathroom stall (not literally……….please) and see what new people there are to meet and what new adventures there are to be had. You won’t regret it!

Good luck using this. Our buddy Hal has some beginners plans too that are free.
Good luck using this. Our buddy Hal has some beginners plans too that are free.

Silent Saturday

We use our powerful God-tools for fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity.-2Corinthians10:5-6 MSG

Recently I have been learning the art of becoming a steward of my thoughts and words. Perhaps, to a degree, this is a learned behavior that comes with age, but realistically I’ve discovered the power of controlling your thoughts and actions is more of a habit that you have to actively pursue and develop. You don’t wake up one day with complete alignment in your thoughts, dreams, goals, daily tasks, priorities, and relationships. Rather, you have to  consciously reflect on the ways that you have been sabotaging both yourself and others.

On Silent Saturday, I challenge you to begin noticing, and if necessary, changing your words. The words that you speak inevitably impact the actions that you take and once that takes over your brain (holding your thoughts hostage), you have to work double time to conqueror something. The same is true in reverse. When you speak life with positive declarations and mantras and push through the dead zones, your words will change your thoughts and you will start believing that anything is possible. When you clear the obstructions of faulty thinking, your actions start to line up with your hope filled words. Before you know it, you’re accomplishing things you couldn’t have seen yourself doing under your old thought patterns.

We have the power to create whatever world that we want to live in. Do I want to live in a world where I let doubt and fear dictate my future, or do I want to live in a world where nothing is impossible? Do I want to live in a world where things out of my control determine my emotional trajectory, or a world where I realize I choose my response even if the circumstance was out of my control?

Anything I could ask or think or dream of, if my motivations are healthy, centered, and guided by mind, body, and spirit alignment, could become my reality. A simple clearing of my mental cache and  my actions are released to take me where I need to go.

I called this silent Saturday because perhaps there are some voices in our heads that need to shut up. It’s possible that we have heard these voices for so long that we no longer recognize them. At moments, the voices in my head have taken over my vocal chords and created a martyr or victim scenario, which take my power away leading to behaviors that drain and diminish the life force that I am.

 I can guarantee that there have been moments in your life where loose thoughts and emotions invade your world obstructing opportunity and maturity. Today is the day that we tell our thoughts and emotions who is boss. We will shut them up on this silent Saturday when they try to plant seeds that won’t result in the harvest we are looking for. We will replace them not only with more life-giving words and emotions, but with forward ACTION. I will control what I can control, which is my thought life, my speech, and my activity.

Disclaimer: Sometimes we struggle with inflated self thoughts and that is just as toxic as being a downer. Grandiose thinking needs to be taking captive too.

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Sidebar: We had to practice some thought captivity this morning. My sons basketball league  lost in a BIG way. We had to pep them up.

Musings about mind, body, and spirit