Inspirational, Spiritual, The Bridge Church

Give Me Faith

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Give Me Faith-Elevation Worship
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gs5u0j0UUPc&feature=related

I need you to soften my heart
To break me apart
I need you to open my eyes
To see that You’re shaping my life

Pre-Chorus: 
All I am, I surrender

Chorus:  
Give me faith to trust what you say
 That you’re good and your love is great 
I’m broken inside, I give you my life

Verse 2:
I need you to soften my heart
To break me apart
I need you pierce through the dark 
And cleanse every part of me

Bridge:
I may be weakYour spirit strong in meMy flesh may failMy God you never will (repeat)

This week the Bridge Church Band will be doing a new song called “Give me Faith”. This song has literally been circulating through my head, heart, and spirit since the moment I heard it. The chorus and the Bridge are both catchy, and not in a showmanship kind of way. They are not catchy necessarily because of the beats, but because they speak into the places that everyone of us have been. I went to a funeral this week of an amazing man of God that impacted so many lives. His name was Pastor Robert Trapani and one of the main quotes I kept hearing people speak about him was a line from a sermon that he used often during counseling sessions, “Life is not fair, but our God is just.” Listening to those words just further stirred up in my Spirit the meaning of this song.


We can not see what God is doing from His vantage point. Not only are His ways infinitely higher than our ways and His thoughts enormously broader than our thoughts, but He has the advantage of seeing the full picture. He is the “I Am”. Before there was Moses, there was God. He has existed for all of eternity, and therefore has a view that we can’t comprehend. Trust is so hard sometimes, but resting in the knowledge of His all encompassing love and justice gives us hope. My hope is in the name of the Lord where my help comes from. Just like someone in an airplane has a view of our city and the advantage of seeing the planning and layout strategically engineered by teams of people that we can’t see while in a traffic jam, at some point, we trust that the highway we are on, even in bumper to bumper traffic, will lead us home. We know that some sort of city planning committee knew in advance that these jams would occur and planned for them accordingly. I don’t know about you, but I don’t place a huge amount of trust in the efficiency of highway systems all the time, but I do have hope and confidence that I can get from point A to point B anywhere in the United States of America because someone was there before me and planned the route in advance to accommodate my vehicle and a large amount of traffic. If I can place hope and faith in a political system to help direct my vehicle to get where it is going, I surely can trust God to be the engineer, driver, and architect of my life. I may get in some traffic jams a long the way. I may get in some head on collisions, but I have hope, faith, and trust that God will guide me where I’m supposed to go. 


My prayer for you today is the same prayer I have for the Bridge Church Worship experience tomorrow and the same prayer I’ve been sending up over my own life and the life of those in my community and church and that is that  we can all get a transfusion of faith in our lives. We need to be honest with ourselves and others when faith is waning. God isn’t fooled. He created us and knows the limitations of our finite mind and human nature. My prayer over my family is that God will give us a spiritual faith transfusion every day. We need a divine impartation of the mind of God at certain junctures in our lives. Sometimes it’s harder to see clearly than others. It is in those moments, that honesty with God, will catapult you to new levels in him. So, today God, I pray that you can give me the faith to trust what you say. I am weak, but with your Spirit in me, the failures of my flesh can be wiped out because you, God, never fail.


Be blessed today blogosphere!

Inspirational, Spiritual, The Bridge Church

Monday Morning Commentary

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Today I am going to post my “Monday Morning Commentary”. Sure, it’s Tuesday, but the whole spirit of the “Monday Morning Commentary” is that of an armchair quarterback. It doesn’t really matter when you rehash the plays and tout the victories, as long as its done before the next big game. At the Bridge Church, we are in the middle of, and nearing the end, of our 2012 kickoff series “Defining Moments”. Since most of us spend at least one moment contemplating the end of one year and the beginning of the next, what better time for the church to help us outline a plan for our year? We want 2012 to include defining moments that we can look back on and know that our lives were forever altered in those moments. In the Bible we find many defining moments, most of which ended with altars to God being erected as monuments to the greatness of our God.

The Bridge Church is still in it’s infancy. In fact, we don’t celebrate our 1st birthday until Sunday, May 20, 2012,  but we have had many defining moments already. One thing that I want to start on my blog is a testimonial section. God has done so many things in and through people associated with and connected to the Bridge Church that it would be a shame not to shout it from my blog. We have seen healings, job miracles, financial miracles, and many salvation stories. Too often it is easy to let these moments slip by without identifying them as the defining moment that they are because we get too busy, or we chalk things up to coincidence, or we convince ourselves that we are so good and so spiritual and so full of awesome works that we deserve the miraculous. We feel that God owes us something big because we show up on Sunday mornings. We don’t want that to ever be said of the Bridge Church. We are a church that honors God and honors people and that means we celebrate the miraculous moments. We celebrate the moments that may seem like coincidences to others, but that we know to be God. I think 21st century Americans are so stinking spoiled by all the material goods and information up for immediate grabs at our fingertips that we need God to always move in the “thunder” and in the “lightening”. We have forgotten how to hear that still small voice. My personal stamp on the “Defining Moments” series is to learn to recognize when God is bringing you a defining moment. Don’t let it be drown in the noise of selfishness, pride, busyness, or covetousness. Recognize when God moves.

The major themes of our series have been defining connections and defining transitions. This past Sunday we discussed “A Defining Attitude”. In an era where a bad, in your face attitude is touted as some sort of badge of honor, we, as people of God, need to give a lot of thought as to the attitude that we put on everyday. I hear a lot more “Talk to the face, not the hand” than I do “I’m sorry’s”. This sermon really spoke to me. Pastor chose two passages of scripture. One was found in the book of Daniel where we find that Daniel’s excellent attitude led to him getting promoted in the kingdom. What we fail to realize a lot of times is that Daniel lived in Babylon because his people were held captive. Even in the face of slavery and captivity, his work ethic and attitude separated him from everyone else. He then chose  Psalm 40:9-10 for us to learn from David. David was a psalmist and if you have ever met any true and really good musicians and song writers, you will know that they generally are weird. True musicians, not people that just chord and sing nice, but people like Taylor Swift that write great ballads resulting from break ups and failed relationships, generally glean their work from a place of pain and oftentimes depression. David probably struggled a lot with his attitude for numerous reasons. He was the overlooked younger brother sent to the hillside to watch sheep while his better looking, stronger, older brothers were favored. David leaves for us some great words in Psalms to help us “sing” our way out of a bad attitude.

Psalm 40:9-10

New International Version (NIV)
9 I proclaim your saving acts in the great assembly;
I do not seal my lips, LORD,
as you know.
10 I do not hide your righteousness in my heart;
I speak of your faithfulness and your saving help.
I do not conceal your love and your faithfulness
from the great assembly.

The best way to be identified as someone with an “Excellent Spirit” would be to determine today that the defining attitude you want for your life is an attitude worthy of someone who has been redeemed. Actions do speak louder than words, but I guarantee you that if your words are words of praise and proclamation to Jesus, your actions will catch up to your words. Do as David said and proclaim the saving power of God. Don’t seal your mouth when good things happen. Don’t hide the goodness, righteousness, and faithfulness of God in your heart. Stop carrying a concealed weapon. We have the Holy Spirit inside of us which is the greatest tool in Spiritual warfare. Don’t conceal that weapon. Don’t hide his love and faithfulness. Proclaim them. Nothing will set your day up better for success than focusing on the goodness of God.

Too often we settle for boring lives and boring Christianity. Why would anyone want to become a Christian when they see Christians with bad attitudes? Live your life out. Live a good attitude. Live bold. Live audacious, not boring.

My favorite analogy Pastor used was the analogy of cappuccino versus lattes. Too many Christians are cappucino’s. They are a lot of foam and very little substance. They are asking people to pay a high price for what they have (deny yourself, take up your cross, follow Christ), but offering little in return. The Bridge Church, on the other hand, wants to be a latte. A latte still has espresso and froth, but there is a lot of substance to the cup.

So, my defining conclusion to the sermon this past Sunday is this:

“Let your attitude be shaped by the faithfulness of God, not by the daily grind”.- Me. My original quote.

When I wake up, I’m not going to immediately hone in on all the things going wrong and all of the lists that need completed, but first I am going to speak of His faithfulness and saving help. The goal is not to ignore your circumstances and be oblivious to the problems in your life, but to learn how to let your attitude be shaped by the promises of God. This life is just the waiting room for the auditorium of eternity. Keep it in perspective.

In keeping with the Spirit of the “Armchair” Quarterback, I have to say that our Pastor has been throwing quite well.

Anecdotal, Fitness, Running

Contrasts

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“One reason you may not be feeling like you are a person of purpose is if you are not functioning as a person of purpose. Live on purpose.”-Dr. Tony Evans

(The above quote only relates indirectly to this particular blog post. I really liked it though, so I thought I’d share.)

Tracked with my Garmin 110 GPS Running Watch:

As of 1/21/2012 I’m 8% of the way to my goal of running 1,000 miles this year.
Over the last 7 days I’ve run 26.31 miles and burnt 3,133 calories running.

YakTrax Snow/Ice “Cleats”. Tried them for the first time this week and they are a worthy purchase if you plan on running or walking outdoors in the winter. They have them for $19.99 at Dick’s Sporting Goods and my husband and I are able to share a pair because you just add them to the bottom of your existing tennis shoe. We bought a size Medium.

In Cleveland they say just wait 5 minutes and the weather will be different. I am finding this to be crazily true. Since moving here in 2010, I have started to grow accustom to the fact that there is no normal weather wise. The #runstreak has made this far more clear and plain than ever before. I remember one day in the fall while training for the Indianapolis Monumental Marathon, I made my run plan for the week based on my Weather Channel for iPhone app. This proved to be disastrous. I scheduled a 15 mile run for the day we had a 10% chance of rain and scheduled my cross training on the day my app said an 80% chance of rain. This was prior to the #runstreak (now I run everyday in rain or shine, in sickness or in health) and I was ticked when the rain started pouring about a mile into my 15 mile run and the sun was shining brightly the day I was at the gym cross training. This happened numerous times during my running in 2011. I’ve decided to not make too many plans in 2012 and just go for it. I’ve already run in the worst possible conditions anyway. During a spring run in 2011 I ran in lightening, thunder, hail, and rain. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend putting your life at risk like that, but sometimes you have to get the miles in. I wasn’t the only runner out that day though, so I had other psycho’s to stare at through the hail. Coincidentally, I ran a PR on that 8 mile run. I’m sure it was the fact I felt like I was being chased by lightening bolts that put the spring in my step.

So, in keeping with the spirit of Cleveland winter, over the last 10 days we’ve had glimpses into every season but summer. I’ve run in spring conditions complete with the sun and birds chirping. I’ve run in cloudy, dreary fall like temperatures and conditions. And, finally, I’ve run in brutal winter. I started this last week full of energy and very jazzed about my health and my #runstreak and have hit every high and low in between. First, my running times and mileage were impeded by last weekends snow/ice storm (pre Yaktrax) on Sunday and Monday. Also, whether I run indoors or outdoors is also determined on my children. If they are in school or out of school and if my husband is working from his office at home and can keep an eye on them, or if he is in the community or at business meetings away from his home office. My kids are way too big for jogging strollers and not quite big enough to ride bikes alongside my longer runs yet, so sometimes I go to the YMCA and use the treadmill solely for their free child watch feature. Both of my boys have told me they are running marathons at some point though. I have glorious visions of our family of 4 crossing a finish line holding hands someday at a huge race, like the ING New York City Marathon. A mom can dream can’t she? 🙂

Back to this weeks running story……..I ran 6 miles on the Treadmill at the YMCA on Tuesday and felt pretty good, despite the fact I ran indoors, only to start feeling sick Tuesday afternoon and evening, a feeling that hung on until Thursday evening. I had some sort of stomach virus coupled with a sinus infection and it really sucked the life out of me. It was one of those illnesses though where you have to keep going. I still had appointments to keep, people to host at my house, Foundations classes, music practice, and office work that wouldn’t wait for my illness to pass. I thought if none of this stuff lets me be sick, then I had to keep the #runstreak alive too. I decided to run on the Treadmill Wednesday because I didn’t have the mental fortitude to tough out the rough headwinds while keeping myself from heaving. Two treadmill miles Wednesday felt worse than 6 miles Tuesday. Thursday I was slowly feeling somewhat better, so I went out for another 6 miles and averaged a 9:33 mile overall, which is still slow. Yesterday, Friday, the temperatures were registering -5 degrees, and having come off of an illness, I decided to do the treadmill again and logged only 3 miles. I did 9:22 miles though, so I’m almost back up to my current fitness levels. I am not one that can mentally pull off a long treadmill run very often, especially when I wasn’t completely up to par. Three to Six miles is long enough to stare at a wall while listening to leadership and preaching podcasts. (As a side note, sometimes I listen to music, but I like to run outside with nothing and build up my leadership skills and spirit when running on a treadmill by listening to podcasts.)

Today was warmer, around 20 degrees, but was a winter wonderland. I snapped on the YakTrax and went for a difficult 3.25 miles. ( I found out later that I had inadvertently run the #twitterroadrace In addition to pushing for people to #runstreak and run at least a marathon a week #marathonweek, fitness bloggers everywhere are uniting for 5K’s calling them #twitterroadrace and you just post your time on twitter and see how you did compared to everyone else. I think you have to run with a GPS and be able to upload and prove your time. Twitter is a great way to connect with other runners and athletes and keep motivating and inspiring yourself. You can also do the hash tags #runchat and #seenonmyrun for further help and entertainment)  Nothing in my  neighborhood had been plowed since it is Saturday, so I had to pick my legs up high and try to run in the street in tire tracks. Unfortunately there weren’t lots of tire tracks since no one had been out and about. It was a fun, invigorating run though. Running in deep snow is more difficult than you think. Like I’ve stated in other blogs, it feels like you are running through sand and the headwinds were strong today. A friendly neighbor expressed his concern to me. He apparently didn’t think a little lady needed to be out running post snow Apocalypse. I thanked him for his kindness and just kept running. This week was about contrasts in my attitude, running speed, running conditions, and mileage. My mileage is down overall this week because of the mixture of weather and illness, but my streak is 69 days in with no end in sight.

I went over the hurdle I was most concerned about this week, the hurdle of what happens to my streak when I’m sick. Thankfully, I almost never get sick, so hopefully I won’t have to jump this hurdle often. However, I know that if I am sick I can always head out the door or to the treadmill and at least complete one to two lousy measly miles. I will pull from the mental fortitude and strength I’m gaining from this streak for my marathon this year. When I’m doing a 1:59 half marathon (which will be a PR) and crossing the finish line of my full marathon, I’ll be grateful for every day I slogged through.

2012 will hold my 5 th half marathon and first full marathon since my marathon plans were stolen from me by injury last year. I also plan to log over 1,000 miles over the course of this year. I started the year with 800 miles as my goal, but was already 10% of the way there not even a full month into the year, so I set a new more challenging, yet attainable goal. My Garmin tracks it all for me and I’ll report to you. For now, bundle up and go for a run. The snow never hurt anybody that was dressed appropriately (no shorts and tank tops for January runs).

Fitness, Inspirational

I am Tim Tebow

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It really never is too late to reinvent yourself. Every blog on this page is all about exploring the power that each of us has within us to go further, do more, push harder, and accomplish more than we ever could have dreamed. I also believe that if we have the Spirit of God in us, we can do things, even in our own physical bodies, that we wouldn’t otherwise be able to do. I guess you could call this the “Tim Tebow” theory of life. Sure, you don’t have to be a Christian or a Spiritual person to accomplish things in the business world or on the athletic field. We know this because the Bible tells us that it rains on the just and the unjust. That rain can be both the rain of blessing and the rain of sorrow. This just simply lets us know what we all already knew and that is that life isn’t always fair while we are in these mortal bodies. But, we do know that one of the key attributes of God is justice, so we can just let things slide and know that He will work it out someday. Sometimes things aren’t even worked out in our lifetime, but there is always a day of reckoning. The hope we have as believers is that when it is all worked out, and that day of reckoning comes, whether it is in this life or the next, it will be worked for our good. (Romans 8:28) The “Tim Tebow” theory of life is tied directly to that concept. We all know that even with all of his prayers and John 3:16’s, he still lost to the Patriots. However, he lives this scripture (to my knowledge and what I can see), and so should you.
 Colossians 3:17 “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (NIV)

Whatever that we do in every area of our life from the athletic, to the mundane, to the necessary, to the exciting, we need to dedicate to God. That being said, becoming as healthy and strong in your body as you can is very glorifying to God. It is telling God that you value the flesh that He gave you when He formed you in your mother’s womb. The Bible tells us that He lives in temples not made by hands, meaning you are the temple of the Holy Spirit. At my church, the Bridge Church, we live by the thought that a church is not a building or a denomination or a social club, but it is a body of believers being the hands and feet of God on this earth.  A church is the people. By that definition, I better keep my body as healthy as I can because I am a representative of God. I am the temple that the Holy Spirit dwells in. I saw a shirt once that said ” I have the body of a God……….Buddah. 🙂 Too many Christians could rock that shirt well.

 I came across a passage of scripture today that really convicted me in regards to a healthy lifestyle. I still don’t like to see scriptures like this because I don’t have it all under control yet. Sometimes I still eat way too much junk or spend far too much time thinking about food. Pastor Jentezen  Franklin calls this being ruled by “King Stomach”. No man can serve two masters. If you obsess about anything in life, it can become an idol to you. Dethrone King Stomach and King anything that occupies too much of your thought life and time.

Proverbs 23:1-3: “When thou sittest to eat with a ruler, consider diligently what is before thee: 2 And put a knife to thy throat, if thou be a man given to appetite. 3 Be not desirous of his dainties: for they are deceitful meat.”

The word of God says basically it is better to just die than be given over to your appetite. I think this is true of not only the literal physical appetite towards food, but all of the appetites that our flesh desires. The bible tells us that while almost everything is lawful, not everything is expedient. For example, while it isn’t a sin to read novels, if you read 8 novels a day and neglect your job, home, study of God’s word, and spiritual callings, it wouldn’t be expedient. Likewise, while it isn’t a sin to eat ice cream (Oh please tell me I’m right on this!!!!), it would be a sin to eat a gallon a day and steal, kill, and destroy for another ice cold milky fix.

Keep this in mind as you pursue the new you. Above and beyond anything else in this world, your spiritual health is the most important thing, and I feel that you can’t be spiritually healthy if you let yourself go physically. Therefore, spend some time this week finding balance in your mind, body, and spirit. Do everything you do for the glory of God and you will feel strength like you never have before. Be a little diet and fitness “Tim Tebow” this week. Let the world know that you are logging those running miles for the glory of God. You are strengthening your body like an athlete so you can better pursue His calling on your life. Don’t let your appetites rule you, and above all, every time you reach a milestone, give thanks to God. Daily when I run I can’t help but whisper “Thank you Jesus” for the strength I have in my body to run, for the breathe I have to breathe, and for the time to run outdoors and commune with the earth that He created. Everything we have and do is because of Him, so turn it around for His glory. If you have to, drop to your knees and “Tebow” as you exit the gym. It might be dramatic overkill, but at least you’ll remember who you belong to and why you do what you do.

Fitness, Nutrition, Personal, Running

RePost: From Fat to Fit

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This blog, From Fat to Fit, was originally posted January 17, 2011. The content is still relevant and I have had requests recently about the content, so I decided to RePost it for easy access. More to come tomorrow on the #runstreak this week, the FAQ’s of the week, my insight into Romans for our church LifeGroups this week, and my commentary about what God is doing in the Bridge Church. I hope you keep coming back to the blog. Feel free to comment and leave any questions.

I’ve lost even more weight and toned up further since these “after” pictures.
Biggest Loser Style Pose

I have been inundated with requests to take people through my lifestyle change journey and have decided, after answering countless personal emails and typing the same things over and over again, to try and narrate for you my journey, what helped me, what didn’t help, and some things that I’m still working to improve. We are already almost through January 2011 and I imagine some of you have been successful in your resolutions and are full swing into your weight loss and/or fitness/health journey and there are others of you that caved the second the Valentine’s Day displays went up at the stores and you caught glimpse of the beloved lover “chocolate”.

After overdosing on yummy food goodness for at least a month between Thanksgiving and Christmas, most people heave a disappointed sigh as they try to fit into their pants. Having already started the holidays with a few extra pounds they vowed to get off the year prior, they just give in for “one more month” with a renewed declaration in their spirits to try again next year. Well, next year is here and some of those people are currently beating themselves up because they are already off the wagon again. Oh well, better luck next time in 2012 they say. That person was me in 2009. Every year since I can remember I’ve been vowing to lose weight. This blog is my story of journey and triumph.

If you could add up all the diets I’ve been on, all the books on food and dieting I’ve read, and the number of exercise related paraphernalia I’ve purchased in my life, I’m sure you’d be blown away. In fact, I ought to have my Medical Degree in nutrition by now earned by life credits and personal development. It may surprise you to learn a few things about me that I don’t like to talk about. Believe it or not, there are things I don’t like to discuss. For the sake of helping my friends, acquaintances, and even just random women down the street, I will share with you.
Number one, before my two pregnancies and subsequent weight gain, I actually, at one point in my life, struggled with anorexic behaviors. It was actually humiliating for me to admit this at one point because how could a 5’7” 98 pound girl balloon to where I had gotten. How’s that for recovery? Believe it or not, people with disordered eating can easily swing from anorexia to morbid obesity. It really is the same faulty thought patterns that get people. I personally know several obese people that struggle with bulimia and anorexia. I encourage you to not make judgments on peoples eating and fitness levels when you don’t know their story. Number two fact played into my lifestyle change was the fact that my dad was in his 30’s when his health began to fail. He died at 51. Realizing that I was turning 30 in 2010 really took me to a place mentally that few can understand. It’s not about growing older. It’s not about impending wrinkles or vanity, but it was about the fact that my life could already be half over. I have so many relatives that didn’t live very long or healthy lives. My blood Bentley relatives can attest to you that our genetics are some sort of ticking time bomb and they are definitely not conducive to being thin and healthy. The Bentley relatives that are thin and healthy work overtime to be so. We are not natural hotties, but we’re geniuses, guess you can’t have it all 🙂

My struggles with weight began at age 14 when I realized I was fat. I know my mom will read this and weep and say “Jessica how could you think that”, but those of you that knew me then and don’t have the maternal emotional ties will attest to the fact that this was true. I really and truly did need to lose weight. I was ending Junior High and beginning high school and wanted to be attractive to the opposite sex. Puberty really has a way of messing with your head. I began a healthy, balanced diet that quickly spiraled into an unhealthy intake of only 500 calories at the most a day coupled with lots of exercise and quick, out of control weight loss. I’m sure this time period in my life destroyed my metabolism. I would not say that I was anorexic in a classic sense because anorexics cannot see what they are doing to themselves and often times still view themselves as fat. I did not view myself as fat; in fact, I viewed myself as superior to everyone else. They had to eat to live and I didn’t. I had power over it. To make an incredibly long story short, my wakeup call came at a Doctor’s appointment when I was 15 and at 5’7” weighed 98 pounds, had a blood sugar of 12 and was told my liver would fail within a year if I didn’t start eating better. Miraculously, this was all I needed to know. I certainly didn’t want to die. I also had such kind friends (you know who you are) that started calling me “skelator”. This actually didn’t’ help me. I knew this was their way to express how scared they felt about my condition but in reality it just made me feel more superior. I was skinnier than anybody and everyone knew it. I was awesome.

After my wake up call, I was told to gain weight. This was amazing to me. I had never needed to gain weight. I was always fat. I didn’t enter this next phase of my journey very well. I started eating like a crazy person. My body was probably malnourished so was prompting me to eat constantly. My weight went up practically overnight. I wish I had stayed at 135 pounds on my way up the scale, but at some point I quit caring about my weight again. I wanted to be attractive, but at the time had boyfriends and male suitors, so I guess I was accomplishing that on some level. In retrospect, all of this insanity I’m sure was tied into the stress of long term illness. My dad’s kidneys failed when I was in 3rd grade and so for years he was on a doctor’s restricted diet. Our whole house revolved around sodium content, sugar content, and the scale. When your kidneys fail, you have to weigh yourself several times a day because you aren’t peeing at all. You have to make sure the water doesn’t build up too much. I guarantee that my weight loss, although necessary and healthy initially, spiraled into something I could control in my life. My dad went on to a kidney transplant when I was 10 but battled everything in the book for the next 14 years after that until he died. I bet people really don’t know the extent of the stress in my family because my dad was an eternal optimist, a genius, and a hard worker. I even had myself convinced he wasn’t as sick as he really was. Perhaps my over control of calories went the opposite way when I was told to gain weight.

Whichever way you swing, if you are on the anorexic end or overeating end, ultimately you have a very unhealthy relationship with food. One thing that changed my journey was to stop looking at food as anything other than fuel. I still enjoy eating. I love the act of eating with my family and friends. I love to cuddle with a bowl of ice cream on the couch with my husband and enjoy the silence of my kids being in bed. I love celebrating the holidays with food. The only difference this time is that I listen to my body. Food is not your friend or your enemy, it is just food. It won’t make you happy or change your life. An apple tastes just as good as apple pie. So, unless it’s a holiday, why sabotage yourself with the unhealthier choice?

If you sat down to read this thinking you were getting a light hearted blog about weight loss, you are surprised by now I’m sure! I don’t feel like I can be truly honest about how I came to this point without sharing all of that with you. For most people, weight loss isn’t just about food or weight, it’s about stuff much deeper and more complex, so unless you deal with all of that, you’ll just keep yo-yo dieting. I overcame my food issues years ago. Once I got married, I settled happily into life and didn’t really think about food much. I just enjoyed eating. I gained about 15 wedding pounds and then got pregnant with my first son. I then gained 25 pounds being pregnant and lost only about 15 of those pounds after he was born. If you’re not good at math, I’ll spell it out. That means I started my second pregnancy 25 pounds bigger than I was on my wedding day. I gained 30 pounds in my second pregnancy and then was thrown into a whirlwind of life 6 months after giving birth. We moved, began traveling full time to cast vision for the church we were to be starting in Cleveland, and living on an insane schedule. I had lost a few of the pregnancy pounds but found myself actually gaining instead of losing. Because of our travel schedule and preaching at churches all over the country, we were eating out constantly, eating out at weird hours of the day, and offered very few healthy choices and options. I was also caring for a toddler and infant who had no structure or schedule due to the insane nature of our life at the time. I nursed both of my children for the first year and didn’t find the weight loss benefit from it that many of my friends find.

Add to this the death of my dad right before my first pregnancy and pretty much, I had a recipe for disaster. I stood on the scale one morning at the end of 2009 and declared, “I will not be this person anymore.” I was going to lose weight healthy and normally, rid my mind of both the anorexic extremist control of my early teenage years and of the “lassiez-faire” attitude of marriage and motherhood, and get my health in order. I was turning 30 and I wanted to do everything in my power to make sure my sons have a mother that lives to be older than 51. None of my dad’s illnesses were weight related and I might still get some long term illness even trying to live healthy, but I need to know I’m doing everything in my power to lose weight.
I have not used supplements or pills. I have done this the old fashioned way. I have taken all the advice, tidbits, and pieces of knowledge I have gathered over the years and with trial and error applied all the things that work for me. First off, I joined Curves. Curves is a gym for women. Cuyahoga County offered free memberships through the Cleveland Clinic’s Go Fit program last year so I didn’t have to pay any startup fee or monthly fee for 6 full months. The program made you get weighed and measured weekly and if you didn’t go a minimum of 3 times, they charged you. I literally despise wasting money so that was a major motivator and the weekly weigh in’s kept me accountable. I got up at 6:30 am and hit the gym 3 times a week to start off. The weight began to fall off me. It was amazing. I was following the Curves Weight management plan which is almost identical to weight watchers. You have free fruits and vegetables and an emphasis on protein. It doesn’t eliminate carbs, but carbs are no longer your main fuel source. I even allowed myself every Sunday to eat whatever I wanted and didn’t deprive myself during the week. My main key was exercise and counting calories. I use Live Strong/the Daily Plate. They have a website or you can download their APP for your smartphone. I used Live Strong to determine my calorie count for the day, count my calories, and log my food choices. I still use Live Strong. It provides you with the knowledge you need. I bet you’d be shocked if you actually realized how many calories you truly need to how many you are actually consuming. I’ve been one to make healthier choices even at my most overweight points, but I obviously was very unaware of how much was truly going in.

I’m sorry this isn’t a lose weight quick blog. I have found that losing weight quickly doesn’t work. It doesn’t deal with the issues you have surrounding food and body image and it doesn’t’ deal with the bigger picture of how you can come up with a plan that you can live with. It doesn’t change your lifestyle. The fact of the matter is calories in, calories out. The fact is that you can be thin and skinny without being healthy. If been thin or skinny is your goal, I’m probably not the person to motivate you. Jillian Michael’s calls these people “Fat-Skinny People”. Being thin or skinny doesn’t mean you are physically fit, healthy, or happy. I have learned through all of my dieting, food issues, and loss/grief issues due to my dad’s health problems and subsequent death that you are in charge of your own happiness. As a Christian, my joy comes from God. This world wants to rob you of your joy and your self-worth as a human being, and especially as women. God just wants you to be the best you that you can be. My goal is to be healthy. I can serve God, my family, and my fellow man better when I’m healthy. Don’t get me wrong, I do want to be thin, but my health matters more to me.

The fitness gains I earned at Curves pushed me into pursuing what I once thought was impossible. I’ve never been athletic. Even at my thinnest points, I wasn’t truly physically fit. I’ve always enjoyed moving and never been lazy, but most exercise attempts stopped at just speed walking. Now, with Curves, I was doing circuit training, strength training, and cardio and began to feel the need to step it up. My husband had picked back up his quest to be healthy too and mentioned he wanted to do a marathon. I thought, why not, and told him I wanted to join him in a half marathon. My first few days out I couldn’t even run a mile. With a combination of walk/running, Curves, and marathonrookie.com, I was able to train for and run the 13.1 mile Akron Half-Marathon in 2:34 and that time includes my bathroom breaks so the run was probably more like 2:28.

My story is still ongoing. I’m not to the end of my journey. If weight loss was my ultimate goal, I’m about 10 pounds from my ideal “dream” weight, but it’s not my ultimate goal. I’m currently 26% body fat but would like to be 21%-24% which is optimum fitness for a girl. I’d like to take my health the next level by reducing/eliminating diet drinks, reducing/eliminating artificial sweeteners, and eating foods with very few ingredients. Jillian Michaels says to only eat things that have a mother or that came straight from the ground. I also am trying to not eat foods that have ingredients in them that you need a PhD to pronounce or describe. I’m still working on this. The call of the “hydrogenated” sirens is sometimes too hard to resist. I’d also like to further reduce sodium. I’m a work in progress and God calls me fearfully and wonderfully made. I’ve learned to love the way I look and not compare myself to the Kim Kardashians of the world. Fact of the matter is that normal women don’t look like that because we don’t engage in plastic surgery, have the money for personal trainers, and have personal chefs. I don’t compare myself to my friends that are several inches shorter than me or have a smaller bone structures anymore. I am who I am and God ordained me to be who I am and I’m enjoying every second of my full life in Christ and with my friends and family. Life is a precious gift and I want mine to be as long and healthy as possible.

Helpful hints:1) Drink lots of water. Not only does it fill you up but it actually increases your metabolism by as much as 30% for 40-45 minutes after drinking it.
2) Eat tons of fiber. This fills you up and helps your body clear out toxins. (Hey, I said it as nice as I could)
3) Eat lots of fruits and vegetables (Sorry. No getting around this)
4) Exercise a minimum of 3 days a week. Having no time is not a good excuse. Make time even if it means setting the alarm an hour early every day.
5) Don’t let money be an excuse. A lack of money is not a good excuse to not eat healthy and exercise. You will either pay in lots of medical bills and health related problems or pay to purchase healthier groceries and for the necessary exercise gear. Either way, eventually you’ll pay. Let health be a priority. Cancel your Cable TV if you have to. Being healthy is more important.
6) Have a good support system. Lots of people have actually tried to discourage me believe it or not. I tune these voices out with the voices of my champions and supporters. Don’t let fat, jealous, miserable, unhealthy people steer your course. Find your true friends and family and let them support you. My husband Jonathan was my #1 cheerleader. He was my workout partner and was happy to help me make healthier choices.
7) Motivate yourself. Ultimately unless you are internally motivated you’ll fail. It is not everyone and their brother’s job to keep you constantly propped up. You have to be your own ally. Set small goals and reward yourself for each one that you meet. Don’t set 75 pounds as your goal. Set 10 pounds, celebrate when you reach that goal, and then set another one.
8) Read and Watch things about health and wellness. I like all the Biggest Loser stuff, all the marathon/weight/wellness documentaries, and books about health. Jillian Michaels “Master your Metabolism” is extreme, but I incorporated some of it and liked it. The book “Spark” is great. Runners World magazine has also been a great addition to my reading. Curves has a weight management book that details their plan that is helpful and there are countless websites and blogs that you can tap into. Educate yourself. I love all of the books in the “Eat this, Not that” series. They are tips that require almost no brain to follow. The books are basically picture books. Hit up your local library. This will save you lots of money in the reading department and you can consume more knowledge that way.
9) Learn to recognize true hunger and not just eat to eat or because you feel like you need to because it’s “meal time”. I’m still working on this.
10) Believe in and value yourself. You are worth it! Don’t let spouses or children or jobs stress you to the point that you stop taking care of yourself. Exercise is an amazing way to clear your mind and make you a better you.

The intersection of mind, body, and spirit