Fitness, Nutrition, Running

From Fat to Fit

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I have been inundated with requests to take people through my lifestyle change journey and have decided, after answering countless personal emails and typing the same things over and over again, to try and narrate for you my journey, what helped me, what didn’t help, and some things that I’m still working to improve. We are already almost through January 2011 and I imagine some of you have been successful in your resolutions and are full swing into your weight loss and/or fitness/health journey and there are others of you that caved the second the Valentine’s Day displays went up at the stores and you caught glimpse of the beloved lover “chocolate”.

After overdosing on yummy food goodness for at least a month between Thanksgiving and Christmas, most people heave a disappointed sigh as they try to fit into their pants. Having already started the holidays with a few extra pounds they vowed to get off the year prior, they just give in for “one more month” with a renewed declaration in their spirits to try again next year. Well, next year is here and some of those people are currently beating themselves up because they are already off the wagon again. Oh well, better luck next time in 2012 they say. That person was me in 2009. Every year since I can remember I’ve been vowing to lose weight. This blog is my story of journey and triumph.

If you could add up all the diets I’ve been on, all the books on food and dieting I’ve read, and the number of exercise related paraphernalia I’ve purchased in my life, I’m sure you’d be blown away. In fact, I ought to have my Medical Degree in nutrition by now earned by life credits and personal development. It may surprise you to learn a few things about me that I don’t like to talk about. Believe it or not, there are things I don’t like to discuss. For the sake of helping my friends, acquaintances, and even just random women down the street, I will share with you.
Number one, before my two pregnancies and subsequent weight gain, I actually, at one point in my life, struggled with anorexic behaviors. It was actually humiliating for me to admit this at one point because how could a 5’7” 98 pound girl balloon to where I had gotten. How’s that for recovery? Believe it or not, people with disordered eating can easily swing from anorexia to morbid obesity. It really is the same faulty thought patterns that get people. I personally know several obese people that struggle with bulimia and anorexia. I encourage you to not make judgments on peoples eating and fitness levels when you don’t know their story. Number two fact played into my lifestyle change was the fact that my dad was in his 30’s when his health began to fail. He died at 51. Realizing that I was turning 30 in 2010 really took me to a place mentally that few can understand. It’s not about growing older. It’s not about impending wrinkles or vanity, but it was about the fact that my life could already be half over. I have so many relatives that didn’t live very long or healthy lives. My blood Bentley relatives can attest to you that our genetics are some sort of ticking time bomb and they are definitely not conducive to being thin and healthy. The Bentley relatives that are thin and healthy work overtime to be so. We are not natural hotties, but we’re geniuses, guess you can’t have it all 🙂

My struggles with weight began at age 14 when I realized I was fat. I know my mom will read this and weep and say “Jessica how could you think that”, but those of you that knew me then and don’t have the maternal emotional ties will attest to the fact that this was true. I really and truly did need to lose weight. I was ending Junior High and beginning high school and wanted to be attractive to the opposite sex. Puberty really has a way of messing with your head. I began a healthy, balanced diet that quickly spiraled into an unhealthy intake of only 500 calories at the most a day coupled with lots of exercise and quick, out of control weight loss. I’m sure this time period in my life destroyed my metabolism. I would not say that I was anorexic in a classic sense because anorexics cannot see what they are doing to themselves and often times still view themselves as fat. I did not view myself as fat; in fact, I viewed myself as superior to everyone else. They had to eat to live and I didn’t. I had power over it. To make an incredibly long story short, my wakeup call came at a Doctor’s appointment when I was 15 and at 5’7” weighed 98 pounds, had a blood sugar of 12 and was told my liver would fail within a year if I didn’t start eating better. Miraculously, this was all I needed to know. I certainly didn’t want to die. I also had such kind friends (you know who you are) that started calling me “skelator”. This actually didn’t’ help me. I knew this was their way to express how scared they felt about my condition but in reality it just made me feel more superior. I was skinnier than anybody and everyone knew it. I was awesome.

After my wake up call, I was told to gain weight. This was amazing to me. I had never needed to gain weight. I was always fat. I didn’t enter this next phase of my journey very well. I started eating like a crazy person. My body was probably malnourished so was prompting me to eat constantly. My weight went up practically overnight. I wish I had stayed at 135 pounds on my way up the scale, but at some point I quit caring about my weight again. I wanted to be attractive, but at the time had boyfriends and male suitors, so I guess I was accomplishing that on some level. In retrospect, all of this insanity I’m sure was tied into the stress of long term illness. My dad’s kidneys failed when I was in 3rd grade and so for years he was on a doctor’s restricted diet. Our whole house revolved around sodium content, sugar content, and the scale. When your kidneys fail, you have to weigh yourself several times a day because you aren’t peeing at all. You have to make sure the water doesn’t build up too much. I guarantee that my weight loss, although necessary and healthy initially, spiraled into something I could control in my life. My dad went on to a kidney transplant when I was 10 but battled everything in the book for the next 14 years after that until he died. I bet people really don’t know the extent of the stress in my family because my dad was an eternal optimist, a genius, and a hard worker. I even had myself convinced he wasn’t as sick as he really was. Perhaps my over control of calories went the opposite way when I was told to gain weight.

Whichever way you swing, if you are on the anorexic end or overeating end, ultimately you have a very unhealthy relationship with food. One thing that changed my journey was to stop looking at food as anything other than fuel. I still enjoy eating. I love the act of eating with my family and friends. I love to cuddle with a bowl of ice cream on the couch with my husband and enjoy the silence of my kids being in bed. I love celebrating the holidays with food. The only difference this time is that I listen to my body. Food is not your friend or your enemy, it is just food. It won’t make you happy or change your life. An apple tastes just as good as apple pie. So, unless it’s a holiday, why sabotage yourself with the unhealthier choice?

If you sat down to read this thinking you were getting a light hearted blog about weight loss, you are surprised by now I’m sure! I don’t feel like I can be truly honest about how I came to this point without sharing all of that with you. For most people, weight loss isn’t just about food or weight, it’s about stuff much deeper and more complex, so unless you deal with all of that, you’ll just keep yo-yo dieting. I overcame my food issues years ago. Once I got married, I settled happily into life and didn’t really think about food much. I just enjoyed eating. I gained about 15 wedding pounds and then got pregnant with my first son. I then gained 25 pounds being pregnant and lost only about 15 of those pounds after he was born. If you’re not good at math, I’ll spell it out. That means I started my second pregnancy 25 pounds bigger than I was on my wedding day. I gained 30 pounds in my second pregnancy and then was thrown into a whirlwind of life 6 months after giving birth. We moved, began traveling full time to cast vision for the church we were to be starting in Cleveland, and living on an insane schedule. I had lost a few of the pregnancy pounds but found myself actually gaining instead of losing. Because of our travel schedule and preaching at churches all over the country, we were eating out constantly, eating out at weird hours of the day, and offered very few healthy choices and options. I was also caring for a toddler and infant who had no structure or schedule due to the insane nature of our life at the time. I nursed both of my children for the first year and didn’t find the weight loss benefit from it that many of my friends find.

Add to this the death of my dad right before my first pregnancy and pretty much, I had a recipe for disaster. I stood on the scale one morning at the end of 2009 and declared, “I will not be this person anymore.” I was going to lose weight healthy and normally, rid my mind of both the anorexic extremist control of my early teenage years and of the “lassiez-faire” attitude of marriage and motherhood, and get my health in order. I was turning 30 and I wanted to do everything in my power to make sure my sons have a mother that lives to be older than 51. None of my dad’s illnesses were weight related and I might still get some long term illness even trying to live healthy, but I need to know I’m doing everything in my power to lose weight.
I have not used supplements or pills. I have done this the old fashioned way. I have taken all the advice, tidbits, and pieces of knowledge I have gathered over the years and with trial and error applied all the things that work for me. First off, I joined Curves. Curves is a gym for women. Cuyahoga County offered free memberships through the Cleveland Clinic’s Go Fit program last year so I didn’t have to pay any startup fee or monthly fee for 6 full months. The program made you get weighed and measured weekly and if you didn’t go a minimum of 3 times, they charged you. I literally despise wasting money so that was a major motivator and the weekly weigh in’s kept me accountable. I got up at 6:30 am and hit the gym 3 times a week to start off. The weight began to fall off me. It was amazing. I was following the Curves Weight management plan which is almost identical to weight watchers. You have free fruits and vegetables and an emphasis on protein. It doesn’t eliminate carbs, but carbs are no longer your main fuel source. I even allowed myself every Sunday to eat whatever I wanted and didn’t deprive myself during the week. My main key was exercise and counting calories. I use Live Strong/the Daily Plate. They have a website or you can download their APP for your smartphone. I used Live Strong to determine my calorie count for the day, count my calories, and log my food choices. I still use Live Strong. It provides you with the knowledge you need. I bet you’d be shocked if you actually realized how many calories you truly need to how many you are actually consuming. I’ve been one to make healthier choices even at my most overweight points, but I obviously was very unaware of how much was truly going in.

I’m sorry this isn’t a lose weight quick blog. I have found that losing weight quickly doesn’t work. It doesn’t deal with the issues you have surrounding food and body image and it doesn’t’ deal with the bigger picture of how you can come up with a plan that you can live with. It doesn’t change your lifestyle. The fact of the matter is calories in, calories out. The fact is that you can be thin and skinny without being healthy. If been thin or skinny is your goal, I’m probably not the person to motivate you. Jillian Michael’s calls these people “Fat-Skinny People”. Being thin or skinny doesn’t mean you are physically fit, healthy, or happy. I have learned through all of my dieting, food issues, and loss/grief issues due to my dad’s health problems and subsequent death that you are in charge of your own happiness. As a Christian, my joy comes from God. This world wants to rob you of your joy and your self-worth as a human being, and especially as women. God just wants you to be the best you that you can be. My goal is to be healthy. I can serve God, my family, and my fellow man better when I’m healthy. Don’t get me wrong, I do want to be thin, but my health matters more to me.

The fitness gains I earned at Curves pushed me into pursuing what I once thought was impossible. I’ve never been athletic. Even at my thinnest points, I wasn’t truly physically fit. I’ve always enjoyed moving and never been lazy, but most exercise attempts stopped at just speed walking. Now, with Curves, I was doing circuit training, strength training, and cardio and began to feel the need to step it up. My husband had picked back up his quest to be healthy too and mentioned he wanted to do a marathon. I thought, why not, and told him I wanted to join him in a half marathon. My first few days out I couldn’t even run a mile. With a combination of walk/running, Curves, and marathonrookie.com, I was able to train for and run the 13.1 mile Akron Half-Marathon in 2:34 and that time includes my bathroom breaks so the run was probably more like 2:28.

My story is still ongoing. I’m not to the end of my journey. If weight loss was my ultimate goal, I’m about 10 pounds from my ideal “dream” weight, but it’s not my ultimate goal. I’m currently 26% body fat but would like to be 21%-24% which is optimum fitness for a girl. I’d like to take my health the next level by reducing/eliminating diet drinks, reducing/eliminating artificial sweeteners, and eating foods with very few ingredients. Jillian Michaels says to only eat things that have a mother or that came straight from the ground. I also am trying to not eat foods that have ingredients in them that you need a PhD to pronounce or describe. I’m still working on this. The call of the “hydrogenated” sirens is sometimes too hard to resist. I’d also like to further reduce sodium. I’m a work in progress and God calls me fearfully and wonderfully made. I’ve learned to love the way I look and not compare myself to the Kim Kardashians of the world. Fact of the matter is that normal women don’t look like that because we don’t engage in plastic surgery, have the money for personal trainers, and have personal chefs. I don’t compare myself to my friends that are several inches shorter than me or have a smaller bone structures anymore. I am who I am and God ordained me to be who I am and I’m enjoying every second of my full life in Christ and with my friends and family. Life is a precious gift and I want mine to be as long and healthy as possible.

Helpful hints:
1) Drink lots of water. Not only does it fill you up but it actually increases your metabolism by as much as 30% for 40-45 minutes after drinking it.
2) Eat tons of fiber. This fills you up and helps your body clear out toxins. (Hey, I said it as nice as I could)
3) Eat lots of fruits and vegetables (Sorry. No getting around this)
4) Exercise a minimum of 3 days a week. Having no time is not a good excuse. Make time even if it means setting the alarm an hour early every day.
5) Don’t let money be an excuse. A lack of money is not a good excuse to not eat healthy and exercise. You will either pay in lots of medical bills and health related problems or pay to purchase healthier groceries and for the necessary exercise gear. Either way, eventually you’ll pay. Let health be a priority. Cancel your Cable TV if you have to. Being healthy is more important.
6) Have a good support system. Lots of people have actually tried to discourage me believe it or not. I tune these voices out with the voices of my champions and supporters. Don’t let fat, jealous, miserable, unhealthy people steer your course. Find your true friends and family and let them support you. My husband Jonathan was my #1 cheerleader. He was my workout partner and was happy to help me make healthier choices.
7) Motivate yourself. Ultimately unless you are internally motivated you’ll fail. It is not everyone and their brother’s job to keep you constantly propped up. You have to be your own ally. Set small goals and reward yourself for each one that you meet. Don’t set 75 pounds as your goal. Set 10 pounds, celebrate when you reach that goal, and then set another one.
8) Read and Watch things about health and wellness. I like all the Biggest Loser stuff, all the marathon/weight/wellness documentaries, and books about health. Jillian Michaels “Master your Metabolism” is extreme, but I incorporated some of it and liked it. The book “Spark” is great. Runners World magazine has also been a great addition to my reading. Curves has a weight management book that details their plan that is helpful and there are countless websites and blogs that you can tap into. Educate yourself. I love all of the books in the “Eat this, Not that” series. They are tips that require almost no brain to follow. The books are basically picture books. Hit up your local library. This will save you lots of money in the reading department and you can consume more knowledge that way.
9) Learn to recognize true hunger and not just eat to eat or because you feel like you need to because it’s “meal time”. I’m still working on this.
10) Believe in and value yourself. You are worth it! Don’t let spouses or children or jobs stress you to the point that you stop taking care of yourself. Exercise is an amazing way to clear your mind and make you a better you.

Anecdotal, Personal

A year in retrospect: A year in Focus

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2011 is a year of endless possibilities. I will not let this year come, happen, and leave without allowing it to significantly impact me and the life of others. I am entering the end of the 2010 year and holiday season knowing that a huge and meaningful chapter to my life was written this year and I am expecting nothing but great, God sized things in 2011. 2010 was one of the first years that I actually stuck to several of my New Year’s Resolutions and I am exiting that year glad that my yesterday’s were the today’s that we always put off until tomorrow. Starting a diet is always easier “tomorrow”, being vigilant in prayer and bible reading is always best put off until “tomorrow”, and making life altering decisions are usually put on that proverbial back burner of “tomorrow” as well. What if my “tomorrow” never happened?
In 2010, most of you that follow my Facebook, Twitter, and Blog know that I ran my first ever half marathon. 13.1 miles with 15,000 strangers is nothing to sneeze at for a girl that couldn’t even run 2 miles one year ago. I turned 30; I lost 45 pounds, and, most importantly, saw the vision and calling of God turn from a gestational sized dream into a budding fetus. The dream and calling of the Bridge Church being planted in the Cleveland Metro Area is in full blown pregnancy, excited about its “Grand Opening” birth this spring. We are in our Pre-Launch phase and have seen God perform many miracles and change many lives. I am beyond excited for 2011.
That being said, I’ve evaluated myself and my plans and came up with some goals/resolutions for 2011. If I don’t reach and achieve each and every one, it’s ok, but I am always striving to better myself. In 2010 I read my bible through cover to cover 2 times. In 2011, I am going to devour and eat my bible. Rather than just consuming the word and nibbling on it cover to cover, I am going to journal my way through the New Testament. This means that every day, I will not just be marinating over and reading the Word, but I am going to chew and digest it. I am going to use the SOAP model of journaling that we are doing in our Life Groups to accomplish this. (Scripture, Observation, Application, Prayer).
In 2010 I began praying Luke 10:2 twice a day. (He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. NIV) Every Christian should be a harvester. We are asking God to raise up disciple makers in the Bridge Church and for God to send us people that we can make disciples who in turn make disciples that make disciples. I am prompted to do this by my cell phone alarm. I have it set to go off at 10:02 Am and 10:02 PM every day. Doing this has changed my perspective, prayer life, and caused some major changes in the Spirit World in my area. If you are reading these random thoughts and are not a Christian or are just a casual God believer and want to know more, please contact me. I assure you that the power of the Word of God and Prayer in your life in 2011 will change your circumstance for the better. In 2011, I have made my “Scripture of the Year” Ephesians 6:18-6:19 inspired by one of Pastor Jonathan’s wonderful sermons. (18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. 19 Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.NIV)
I have now added an alarm to my phone to go off at 6:18 PM daily to remind me. I want to be a mystery revealer in 2011. I do not want to settle for ordinary. I know that the only way I will see the supernatural in my life, my family’s life, and the life of the Bridge Church is to pray without ceasing. These little “alarm clock” prayers are not my only conversations with heaven, but they assure that I am calling to my heavenly Father at all points throughout the day. I know that the amazing things God is wanting to do in the Western Cleveland suburbs will be through the hard work of “elbow grease”, but cannot and will not happen through just human hard work and effort alone. God wants all the glory and I will assure that He and He alone gets it.
On a personal level, I’d like to lose about 9 more pounds. However, if I don’t, I am healthier now than I have been in a decade and will be happy to maintain what I achieved in 2010. I’d also like to take that half marathon and turn it into a marathon. Jonathan and I have decided we are going to sign up for and run the Akron Marathon in September. A full glorious 26.2 miles awaits me. I am just amazed that I am even typing this. I’ve never been an athlete but have felt like one for the first time in my life in 2010. I cannot reiterate enough to you the power and importance of exercise in your life. I feel like a changed person. Much of the stress and frustration that we carry around can be dealt with and eliminated through taking care of your body. After all, if you are a Christian reading this, you know your body is the temple of God. Don’t pollute the temple! If you aren’t a Christian, know that carrying around mountains of fat never helped anyone. I am not some health guru, health evangelist, or personal trainer person. I still eat copious amounts of ice cream, skittles, and Five Guys. I’m not perfect. I do, however, value my health.
I would resolve to blog and write more, but I did that in 2010 and failed miserably. I love writing. The cathartic experience of putting thoughts out in the universe for others to read is second to none. However, the reality of having 2 small children, starting a church, holding numerous positions and responsibilities at the church, taking care of my physical health, taking care of my husband, volunteering at the school and in the community, and living life with Missional Purpose and Intent is too great. If I do a lot of writing, then I’ll do it. If I can’t, I can’t. I know one day I won’t wake up at 6 AM daily to 2 snuggly, yet demanding and loud boys and instead, I’ll find the sadness and solitude of silence, and then I can write. By then people may actually listen to what I have to say too because I’ll be full of years.
In 2010, I hit the milestone of turning the big 3-0! In 2011, I hit the milestone of celebrating 10 years of marriage with the love of my life and my best friend, Jonathan. It has been an amazing ride. We have been through things in our marriage that few young people ever have to deal with and have come out victorious. We have encountered some of the most major life stressors that people deal with in an entire lifetime, condensed in just a few short years. I’m so thankful that God saw fit to put us together for the wild, crazy, fun, stressful, invigorating ride of life.
In 2011 both of my boys will be in school. My oldest, Reese, is already in Kindergarten and will enter first grade. My youngest, Gentry, will start pre-school in the fall. The pre-school is just a 2 day program, but puts the speed of life into perspective. I always dreamt of being a mother and having babies and I’ve had 2 and they aren’t babies anymore!! That being said, I’m going to start focusing on the plight of mothers and infants in the US and around the world. I want to give more, do more, and help more. I have been blessed beyond belief and it’s time for me to crank up the level of blessing that I dole out to others. I already feel like Jonathan and I are givers, but you can’t out give God. I would like to every year take on a new project or cause that will outlive us.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. Truth be told, this was more for my own good. I learned long ago that if you don’t put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, and outline your goals and plans, they will never come to fruition in your life.
Inspirational, Spiritual

Godly Heroes: A Hero is in You!

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This blog is an excerpt from my talk at the Ohio District Ladies Day Service.

The word Hero conjures up a variety of mental images. If I did an opinion poll today, there would be a vast array of opinions as to what a hero is. To some of you, the word hero brings about the thoughts of a specific person or event, to others it is a set of characteristics and a specific type of person, and to others, sadly, some would say that heroes don’t exist in this life. As the mother of 2 small boys, I am well acquainted with society’s concept of a hero. Masked crusaders, caped avengers, and web spinning good guys are constantly on a collision course at my house. At any given moment, I can be spun into a web, wrestled to safety from a bad guy, and whisked away from danger to a castle. Any object can be transformed from ordinary to extraordinary on these hero expeditions. A simple towel becomes a cape filled with mysterious, world changing super powers.

As women we are bombarded with another set of images from society on what it means for us to be a hero. We must be SuperMOM, SuperWife, and on a SuperCareerTrack. We have to have spotless homes, stylish, clean, polite children, Food Network worthy meals on the table, and we must do all of this with fit/trim/sexy bodies that will make us feel strong and make our husbands happy and proud. The quest to be a hero is daunting in 21st century America. A sports figure will be called hero in the news while living a self-indulgent and self-centered life and be paid 98 million dollars for their skills on a basketball court, while a volunteer firefighter quietly risks their life for the lives of others, dodging fire, flames, and unforeseen adversity, and does so with no financial renumeration.

As I sat down to think about what makes a Godly hero, I had scriptural examples flood into my mind.
• Jael proved to be a strong, determined woman who God used to defeat the enemy of Israel. The Bible praises her calling her most blessed for killing the enemy king
• Jocebed, Moses mother, nursed him and trained him in the knowledge and fear of the Lord and instilled enough in him by the age of 5 that when she had to give him up to Pharaoh’s daughter, she had already placed enough faith in her son that he was willing to suffer the afflictions of the righteous than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season
• Mary, the mother of Jesus, was willing to take on the shame and ridicule of an unwed pregnancy, knowing and pondering in her heart that she was birthing the messiah. She endured persecution for His namesake before He ever even was revealed as human flesh.

The bible is filled with examples of heroes of the faith, women worthy of honor, women whose children rise and call her blessed. Chances are in your life, you won’t be a Jael. God will not ask you to drive a literal spike through the head of an adversary. We, as New Testament believers wrestle not against flesh and blood but against spirits and principalities and powers in this world.
When thinking of modern day heroes of the faith and people that I look to as Godly examples, I immediately had a scripture come to mind. It isn’t a scripture that one would commonly go to in order to define heroism, but it is the set of scriptures from which we should derive the mission statement of our lives. If we want to be used of God and contend earnestly for the faith that was delivered to the saints, we need to pattern our lives after

Matthew 28:19-20. (NIV)
19Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

This set of verses lays out for us the great commission. If we aren’t living the great commission, we really can’t even be called children of God much less heroes of the Faith.

A Hero is full of the GO: Therefore Go
A Hero of faith is willing to step out and do whatever God asks them to do. This doesn’t always mean you have to go to another country, another state, another city, or even another neighborhood. This means that you are just willing to have some of that Get up and Go. Ain’t no one gonna break your stride, aint’ no one gonna slow you down! Gotta keep on moving!!! Sometimes with the responsibilities and realities of life, it is difficult to always be “on your go”. A hero of the faith is always willing though and is there to listen to the voice of God and if that voice says to go to Giant Eagle instead of Kroger’s, it goes. Being a soul winner is not a one-time event. It usually doesn’t even really effectively happen at big crusades. Soul Winning is just always being ready to give an account for the power and the joy in you and your willingness to spread the seed of the gospel. Johnny Appleseed became an American Hero through his kind and generous ways by putting apple trees all throughout the mid-west and the United States. He simply did this by spreading seed everywhere that he went. He planted nurseries and put fences around them to keep the animals out. A hero of the Faith is simply a spiritual Johnny Appleseed. The tree and the fruit that comes forth isn’t your responsibility, but it is God’s. Just don’t be afraid to constantly be about your Fathers business and spreading hope and truth into your community. Be a GO saint. One day I felt an immense drawing to visit an area mall that I don’t normally go to and have my kids play in that play place. I really didn’t feel like doing it. I often feel that my life is as a full time entertainment and event planner with my 2 children as my CEO’s. I obeyed that urging though and happened on a single mother of a 4 year old daughter that started pouring herself out to me right there. I had never met this woman, but she was hungry for change in her life. At only 24 years old she has already been in AA for 5 years and has a laundry list of addictions and situations that she is working to overcome. I have since become acquainted with her and she stays in touch and desires to be part of the Bridge Church. I was blown away by God that day. After walking with him for 30 years you would think I wouldn’t be surprised by His ways but I am. I want that get up and Go for the kingdom.
Acts 1:8 But ye SHALL receive power after that the holy ghost is come upon you and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem and all Judea and in Samaria and in the uttermost parts of the earth.

You don’t have to GO too far to make a full impact. Be on your Go in your Jerusalem and it will spread.

A Hero is full of the MAKE: make disciples of all nations
A true hero of faith is into building people up and making them all that God desires for them to be. We live in a broken world where people hear negative things every second of everyday. The last thing they want to do is meet a Christian or attend a church that makes them feel depressed! The Joy of the Lord is our Strength. A hero of the faith is into helping people, healing people, growing people, and discipling people. A hero of the faith is willing to share their knowledge of the things of God with somebody. A hero doesn’t desire to come across as the expert but is willing to share and grow others up to their level. The true Heroes of the Faith model themselves after Jesus. He poured of himself and mentored 12 disciples and those closest to him so they could work in harmony in one mind and one accord towards accomplishing the greater will of Christ.

A Hero is all about Baptism: A Hero leads people to the water: Baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. (And we know that name is Jesus)

A true hero of the faith is strong in doctrine. While Going and Making, they will not compromise.

Ephesians 4:14-15 14That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; 15But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:
Galatians 1:8 But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that, which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed.

To be a hero and grow the body of Christ, you do not have to compromise your message. Jesus said unless a man be born of water and of Spirit he shall not see the kingdom of God. When asked on the day of Pentecost what to do and how to respond to the message that was being preached, Peter brought us the foundational truth of the early church and of our movement

Acts 2:38 Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

I’m thankful for heroes that believe the message of the cross. I’m thankful for heroes that preached the gospel even when it hurt, even when it brought persecution to them, even when it cost them something, even when it cost them everything, even in countries where it is illegal!!!
The gospel message is HIS death, burial, and resurrection. Oh that I may KNOW Him!!! When we know him in the power of his resurrection and in the fellowship of his suffering, we are on our way to stardom!! If there was a Hollywood walk of fame where the heroes of the faith put their star, those who were not afraid to preach Christ and Him crucified, would be front and center on that walk.

A true Hero of the Faith is a Teacher: Teaching them everything that I commanded you

A Hero of the Faith is on their Go, Making and speaking into others, leading people to baptism and the knowledge of truth, and in the process does it with the heart of a teacher. A teacher is someone who leads, guides, and instructs. Jesus was the great teacher. A teacher does not spread knowledge through harshness and rebuke, but in love instructs. The heart of a teacher is not a heart of judgementalism and phariseeism but someone who speaks the truth in love. A teacher knows that the greatest commandment and the greatest law is love! Because of love, a hero of the faith takes people under their wings and mentors and guides them. The biggest job of a parent is to teach your children all things. We instruct them in life, academics, love, and spirituality. A Hero of the Faith is a Spiritual Parent. A Hero of the faith knows that they need to be in the word of God for growth so they have something to share with others.

NIV 1 Peter 2: 1Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. 2Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, 3now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.

The best part of being a hero of the faith is that we all have the tools in our arsenal to be a HERO. It doesn’t require superhuman strength or supernatural powers, it only requires that we are submissive to the plan and will of God and that we striving to walk in the great commission. Being a hero for God is filled with all kinds of promises that we can stand on. Matthew 28:19-20 didn’t end with imploring us to GO, MAKE, BAPTIZE, and TEACH, but it ended with a promise that we can stand on.

Matthew 28:20
(The Message) I’ll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age.”
And surely I am with you always, even to the very end of the age (NIV)
(KJV) and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.
So all you Hero’s out there, be encouraged!! God has equipped and empowered you for his service. With his supernatural powers and our natural giftings and abilities, nothing can stop the move of God that is destined to happen. He has already overcome the world!

Anecdotal, Personal

The Story of my Life

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So, it is true. My life is anything but dull. In fact, the life I live really is the stuff that producers look for when casting and writing a reality Television program. While a majority of the so called reality shows are actually scripted, my life would need nothing added to get people to tune in. I have adventure, mayhem, conflict, romance, good food, good fun, good people, challenging situations, and morals to learn with every tale that my life brings me. I’ve recently been reminded that life is nothing if not a very good story. As the protagonist of my own life and the lead character, it is up to me to develop a story worth telling. It is my sole responsibility to live my life in such a way that when the credits roll and the plot line climaxes for the last time, people have observed something worth clapping for, perhaps even something worthy of an awards nomination. This past weekend the story of my life brought me yet another humorous chapter. When life throws curveballs, we can decide to laugh and tweak our story for entertainment value, or become sad, frustrated, upset, and throw in the towel. While the emotions went the full spectrum from laughter to anger, the decided final theme was one of a weekend well played because it will be forever etched in our memory. Murphy was at his best this week and everything that could go wrong, definitely did.
My mother, my aunt, I, and my 2 sons decided we wanted to go to Lancaster, Pennsylvania for the weekend. It is Amish country and they have a magnificent playhouse that puts on spectacular Bible stories. This year the story is “Joseph”, which is one of my sons’ favorite bible characters. The tickets to these shows are far from cheap and non-refundable because they are broadway-esque productions. After leaving North Olmsted 2 hours later than scheduled on Friday, we embarked on the adventure of 3 ladies and 2 babies. The trip there went off without a hitch except the hotel I booked on hotwire was actually in York, PA, 40 minutes from Lancaster instead of the 10 minutes that hotwire claimed, the fact that a 6 hour drive turned into a 12 hour trip due to the numerous stops dictated by middle aged women and toddlers, and the fact that once we finally did stop for dinner, they took an hour to serve us and forgot to bring me my food after everyone else had been served and was finished. On Saturday, the day started well and quickly escalated into crazy. The ankle I had twisted the prior week got sprained and my ankle turned into the size of a tennis ball. We had to get that taken care of and off to the “Plan and Fancy” Amish farm we went. We saw an amazing Amish Experience play/movie/interactive stage and then went to dinner there. Things began to turn south as our supposed Amish dinner, which was overpriced for tourists, turned out to be boxed food. Every place I had eaten in Ohio’s Amish Country was delicious but this place served Kraft macaroni and Cheese and boxed bow tie pasta noodles trying to pass them off as Amish Egg noodles! It was unreal. I have never seen anything like it and I’m surprised in an area with Amish level culinary skills could get any business at all. I sent my noodles and macaroni and cheese back. If I wanted Kraft and generic bow tie, I would go pay $.99 at my local grocer and make it myself. We got back in the car to head to the dramatic production of Joseph.
We got about a mile down the street and pulled into an Amish bakery to grab some dessert on our way and the car totally quit working. We were driving in my mother’s vehicle, so of course, she was panicked. I will say we were thankful it broke down in a parking lot, but the 95 degree, humid day and the fact we were potentially going to lose out on the whole reason for going there, the play, and lose all the money put us all in a frenzy. Not to mention the fact that home was 6 hours away and the hotel was 40 minutes away!! Also, it was Saturday night so no rental car places were open. We called AAA and they were dragging their feet, so my Aunt flagged down some guys on a motorcycle and we found a gray haired lady in the restaurant with a set of jumper cables. We sure looked like a motley crue: 3 ladies, 2 babies, 2 motorbike dudes, and one Mrs. Doubtfire look alike all trying to get my mom’s car to work. Thankfully, the jump worked and we were able to fly into the nearest Pep Boys, 2 miles away, on a wing and a prayer.
The diagnosis is that her alternator and battery had totally fried and we could not drive the vehicle. We were such a mess that the manager of the Pep Boys took mercy on us and loaded the 5 of us up in his car and he drove us to the drama. We were faced with a more serious dilemma though. How were we going to get back to the hotel where we had already checked in and had all of our stuff at and then get back the next day to get the car? We called a taxi and were quoted $70 minimum one way. Thankfully, we came up with the idea of having my Aunt call my Uncle and he connected with an area pastor who so graciously on a Saturday night at 10:30 PM came and picked us up in his church van and drove us the 40 minutes to the hotel. The same church also shuttled us back the next day. Upon arriving back to Pep Boys, we discovered they hadn’t even started working on my mom’s car because the alternator they thought they had in the store was just an empty box!! So, adding insult to injury, we had all of our luggage, hadn’t eaten since the prior day at around 4 PM, and had no vehicle. Thankfully there was a restaurant about ¼ mile down and we drug ourselves there. Finally, after killing 3 hours, her car was done. We left Lancaster and began our long journey home.
Feeling the need to reward themselves for a long weekend, my mom and Aunt insisted we had to have cracker barrel for dinner. So, even though we left super late, we drove 30 minutes OUT OF THE WAY so they could fill their craving. Mind you, there is a cracker barrel 5 minutes from our house. Why couldn’t they have just waited until a different day? So, after leaving Cracker Barrel the GPS said we’d arrive home at 10:30 but that was before nature happened. Tornado like winds, lightening, thunder, and heavy, torrential downpours hit our car. We had to go 35 miles an hour on the interstate because of visibility issues. Reese suddenly woke up out of a dead sleep and said something about his belly hurting. I lovingly told him to go back to sleep and then joked to the rest of the car that it would be the icing on the cake of our chaotic weekend if Reese vomited in the car. It wasn’t even 2 minutes later that he threw up everywhere. It was powerful, massive, and explosive. It went everywhere. All of him, splatters on Gentry, and splatters on my Aunt. Therefore, when we did arrive at home at 11:30 PM, I had the honor of cleaning him up, doing laundry, wiping up the car, taking apart his car seat, washing it, and cleaning Gentry up. Needless to say, we were glad to be home and see the sun rise on Monday.
Besides sharing this humorous, but cringe worthy story with you for entertainment value, there is a moral to this story. The moral is, you can’t control life. It isn’t up to you to control it. If I blogged about every weekend or event that played out in my life with this same outline, I would bore you. I am a magnent for uncomfortable, funny, and strange situations. I am married to Murphy. His law is tattooed on my heart. I pretty much would understand if no one that craved order and control watned to be my friend. My life is especially unpredictable at times. Novel and movie worthy events seem to follow me. Sometimes this frustrates me, but today, I am amused by it. Perhaps God just really enjoys my performances and as the author of my life and the director of my story, he gets great pleasure in watching me act in certain life scenes. Conceivably, I have won academy awards at heavens banquets and will be presented with them at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb. As the lead character in my own story, I am just glad to add another chapter.
Anecdotal, Personal

Death of a Dad

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Death is so final. I’m sorry to sit here and tell all of you who just lost somebody extremely close to you, that it never gets any easier. I wish I could say it does. The counselor in me can tell you though, that you can indeed successfully make it through the stages of grief and come out to a degree of normalcy on the other side. I was told by a wise person during my greatest time of grief that time does not heal all wounds, but it will give you the tools you need to handle the wound.

This weekend celebrates 6 years since my dad went into the coma that ultimately claimed his life. It was on Father’s Day Sunday that we sat in the family living room with him for the last time. I wish I could do that day all over again. What could I have said or done differently? He had just been discharged from the hospital that weekend where he was admitted for his long term battle with kidney issues. His transplanted kidney was failing again, but we had been down that road before and had it covered this time. As children, when his kidney first failed, my brother and I were not even considered to be kidney donors. We were too young. This time around though, we were adults and ready to be tested to see who the closest match was and to give him one of our kidneys. Although it was a struggle for us to face again, we had this path routed out and knew we would come out ahead. Life had other plans though.

While he was admitted to the hospital, my father, in his transplanted immune suppressed state, had somehow contracted meningitis. We did not know this until that Father’s Day, 2004, when he was acting drugged in the living room. He could barely stay awake and the man that was a wordsmith and genius, could barely put sentences together. We thought perhaps he was just still a little sick and exhausted. This behavior continued all day, but we had grown rather use to health problems in the Bentley home, so the worst case scenario was not even considered. The Monday after father’s day, I got a call at work to tell me to go to ICU immediately because my dad was dying. I raced out the door, with hardly an explanation to my co-workers or boss. I didn’t care what they thought and could barely comprehend what was even going on. I think at some point I must have picked up Jonathan because he ended up at the hospital with me, but I have little recollection about what happened in those following hours. All I know is that the dad I knew was gone. He was hooked up to Life-support and in a coma. We had to wear surgical gear to even go into him because they didn’t know what strain of meningitis he had. It eventually led to encephalitis and led to complete brain death. During his 3 months in a coma, he came out of the coma for a couple of days and when they put a voice box over his tracheotomy, the first thing he did was to begin singing, “How Great thou Art”. What a great anthem to our heavenly Father and enormous tribute to the kind of man my father was.

I still can’t talk about these moments very easily and even while typing them, the dam I have built around my emotions has broke loose. I had a few treasured moments with him during these days, but still carry around loads of regret. Could I have done something to change the outcome of this? I know, as an intelligent person, that I contributed nothing to his death. I imagine it is just natural to feel guilt and regret about monumental life events that alter the course of our destiny. Could we have prayed more, loved harder, pushed further? I know that logically, I couldn’t have. After a couple of days out of the coma, he went back in it? I still have no idea why. The doctors offered all kinds of explanations and did numerous tests, but they were always telling us something different. Even the doctors couldn’t agree completely. Their theories ranged from West Nile Virus to “fill in the blank” and “you name it they theorized on it”. The one thing they could all agree on though, is that during the 2nd round of coma, he had lost all brain activity. There was no way he was ever coming back.

This giant of a man, this genius of intellect, this warrior for God had renewed his mind for the final time. I ask myself almost daily why he only got 51 years on this earth, but then, almost simultaneously, I give thanks for the 51 years he did have. Not everyone gets the privilege of being raised by a dad of his caliber. I’m thankful that he was there through my entire childhood, on my wedding day, and at all of my academic graduations. Sure, he never got to meet my children, but God, in his mercy, has blessed both my boys with their own giant of a father. If your father is still alive and is even half the man my dad was, please, don’t miss out on celebrating him this weekend.

The intersection of mind, body, and spirit