Category Archives: Anecdotal

Anecdotal, Fitness, Running

Contrasts

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“One reason you may not be feeling like you are a person of purpose is if you are not functioning as a person of purpose. Live on purpose.”-Dr. Tony Evans

(The above quote only relates indirectly to this particular blog post. I really liked it though, so I thought I’d share.)

Tracked with my Garmin 110 GPS Running Watch:

As of 1/21/2012 I’m 8% of the way to my goal of running 1,000 miles this year.
Over the last 7 days I’ve run 26.31 miles and burnt 3,133 calories running.

YakTrax Snow/Ice “Cleats”. Tried them for the first time this week and they are a worthy purchase if you plan on running or walking outdoors in the winter. They have them for $19.99 at Dick’s Sporting Goods and my husband and I are able to share a pair because you just add them to the bottom of your existing tennis shoe. We bought a size Medium.

In Cleveland they say just wait 5 minutes and the weather will be different. I am finding this to be crazily true. Since moving here in 2010, I have started to grow accustom to the fact that there is no normal weather wise. The #runstreak has made this far more clear and plain than ever before. I remember one day in the fall while training for the Indianapolis Monumental Marathon, I made my run plan for the week based on my Weather Channel for iPhone app. This proved to be disastrous. I scheduled a 15 mile run for the day we had a 10% chance of rain and scheduled my cross training on the day my app said an 80% chance of rain. This was prior to the #runstreak (now I run everyday in rain or shine, in sickness or in health) and I was ticked when the rain started pouring about a mile into my 15 mile run and the sun was shining brightly the day I was at the gym cross training. This happened numerous times during my running in 2011. I’ve decided to not make too many plans in 2012 and just go for it. I’ve already run in the worst possible conditions anyway. During a spring run in 2011 I ran in lightening, thunder, hail, and rain. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend putting your life at risk like that, but sometimes you have to get the miles in. I wasn’t the only runner out that day though, so I had other psycho’s to stare at through the hail. Coincidentally, I ran a PR on that 8 mile run. I’m sure it was the fact I felt like I was being chased by lightening bolts that put the spring in my step.

So, in keeping with the spirit of Cleveland winter, over the last 10 days we’ve had glimpses into every season but summer. I’ve run in spring conditions complete with the sun and birds chirping. I’ve run in cloudy, dreary fall like temperatures and conditions. And, finally, I’ve run in brutal winter. I started this last week full of energy and very jazzed about my health and my #runstreak and have hit every high and low in between. First, my running times and mileage were impeded by last weekends snow/ice storm (pre Yaktrax) on Sunday and Monday. Also, whether I run indoors or outdoors is also determined on my children. If they are in school or out of school and if my husband is working from his office at home and can keep an eye on them, or if he is in the community or at business meetings away from his home office. My kids are way too big for jogging strollers and not quite big enough to ride bikes alongside my longer runs yet, so sometimes I go to the YMCA and use the treadmill solely for their free child watch feature. Both of my boys have told me they are running marathons at some point though. I have glorious visions of our family of 4 crossing a finish line holding hands someday at a huge race, like the ING New York City Marathon. A mom can dream can’t she? 🙂

Back to this weeks running story……..I ran 6 miles on the Treadmill at the YMCA on Tuesday and felt pretty good, despite the fact I ran indoors, only to start feeling sick Tuesday afternoon and evening, a feeling that hung on until Thursday evening. I had some sort of stomach virus coupled with a sinus infection and it really sucked the life out of me. It was one of those illnesses though where you have to keep going. I still had appointments to keep, people to host at my house, Foundations classes, music practice, and office work that wouldn’t wait for my illness to pass. I thought if none of this stuff lets me be sick, then I had to keep the #runstreak alive too. I decided to run on the Treadmill Wednesday because I didn’t have the mental fortitude to tough out the rough headwinds while keeping myself from heaving. Two treadmill miles Wednesday felt worse than 6 miles Tuesday. Thursday I was slowly feeling somewhat better, so I went out for another 6 miles and averaged a 9:33 mile overall, which is still slow. Yesterday, Friday, the temperatures were registering -5 degrees, and having come off of an illness, I decided to do the treadmill again and logged only 3 miles. I did 9:22 miles though, so I’m almost back up to my current fitness levels. I am not one that can mentally pull off a long treadmill run very often, especially when I wasn’t completely up to par. Three to Six miles is long enough to stare at a wall while listening to leadership and preaching podcasts. (As a side note, sometimes I listen to music, but I like to run outside with nothing and build up my leadership skills and spirit when running on a treadmill by listening to podcasts.)

Today was warmer, around 20 degrees, but was a winter wonderland. I snapped on the YakTrax and went for a difficult 3.25 miles. ( I found out later that I had inadvertently run the #twitterroadrace In addition to pushing for people to #runstreak and run at least a marathon a week #marathonweek, fitness bloggers everywhere are uniting for 5K’s calling them #twitterroadrace and you just post your time on twitter and see how you did compared to everyone else. I think you have to run with a GPS and be able to upload and prove your time. Twitter is a great way to connect with other runners and athletes and keep motivating and inspiring yourself. You can also do the hash tags #runchat and #seenonmyrun for further help and entertainment)  Nothing in my  neighborhood had been plowed since it is Saturday, so I had to pick my legs up high and try to run in the street in tire tracks. Unfortunately there weren’t lots of tire tracks since no one had been out and about. It was a fun, invigorating run though. Running in deep snow is more difficult than you think. Like I’ve stated in other blogs, it feels like you are running through sand and the headwinds were strong today. A friendly neighbor expressed his concern to me. He apparently didn’t think a little lady needed to be out running post snow Apocalypse. I thanked him for his kindness and just kept running. This week was about contrasts in my attitude, running speed, running conditions, and mileage. My mileage is down overall this week because of the mixture of weather and illness, but my streak is 69 days in with no end in sight.

I went over the hurdle I was most concerned about this week, the hurdle of what happens to my streak when I’m sick. Thankfully, I almost never get sick, so hopefully I won’t have to jump this hurdle often. However, I know that if I am sick I can always head out the door or to the treadmill and at least complete one to two lousy measly miles. I will pull from the mental fortitude and strength I’m gaining from this streak for my marathon this year. When I’m doing a 1:59 half marathon (which will be a PR) and crossing the finish line of my full marathon, I’ll be grateful for every day I slogged through.

2012 will hold my 5 th half marathon and first full marathon since my marathon plans were stolen from me by injury last year. I also plan to log over 1,000 miles over the course of this year. I started the year with 800 miles as my goal, but was already 10% of the way there not even a full month into the year, so I set a new more challenging, yet attainable goal. My Garmin tracks it all for me and I’ll report to you. For now, bundle up and go for a run. The snow never hurt anybody that was dressed appropriately (no shorts and tank tops for January runs).

Anecdotal, Personal

Friday Thought Flights

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Don’t even get me started on Angry Birds stories and Anecdotes. You’ll be reading for days.

I love being a mom. Sure, there are things about it that are daunting, annoying, and down right irritating, but the laughter, love, and supreme feeling of accomplishment that I get from my role as mom can’t be found anywhere else. So, in keeping with the spirit of motherhood, you will have to endure anecdotes about my 6 year old son Reese and 4 year old son Gentry. Over the course of the day today two random things stood out to me:

1) I hate cutting tiny fingernails and toenails. This has always been one of my least favorite “chores” of motherhood. As bizarre as it sounds, I disliked this task more than changing diapers when they were infants. I had a complete fear of slicing open their delicate skin or trimming their nails painfully short and I could never get them to lay still or position their appendages in a direction that provided ease. Thankfully, the shrieks of terror, all out wrestling matches, and 8 hour trim sessions are a thing of the past. However, we still get to enjoy extreme bouts of drama every time the clippers come out. Gentry thinks I’m going to cut his toes off and yells at me not to touch the little ones. (I eventually get in there and get them all safely and effectively trimmed) And, Reese shuts his eyes, delicately spasms his body, and moans as if I’m extracting his nerve fibers one by one, even before my hands have gotten near his feet. The fact that I used to have to get Jonathan to sit on Reese for me to cut his fingernails and toenails is no joke. Cutting Reese’s nails and toenails used to be a full aerobic workout for me complete with sweat soaked clothing. It got so dysfunctional at one point, that while I was still working at a job outside of my home, I used to strategically not cut his nails so that his babysitter would do it. She was a patient woman. She probably had horrible thoughts about the type of neglectful mother I was because Reese would occasionally show up at her house with talons on his feet and hands. Now that I’m blessed to have my office at home, no babysitter is around to bail me out. Today went somewhat smoothly in the trimming department though, and they both were rewarded with a pack of fruit snacks. This brings up another horrible parenting strategy of rewarding  your kids with food and bringing emotion into the eating process, but, sigh, you can’t be perfect all of the time. Someday they’ll have to explain to their therapist why stressful situations with positive endings induce sugar cravings 🙂

2) What you say and what is heard are rarely the same with children. This category will be explored at length with many musings, but my anecdote from this fact of life for today is humorous. Gentry loves the Wii he and Reese got for Christmas. In fact, while I was working on budgets and finances for our church all day, Gentry was glued to the Wii after pre-school. When Reese got home he kept saying, “Reese I got the goose. I got the goose.” Finally Reese said “What goose are you talking about?” Gentry said, “You know. The one on Wii Sports Resort.” Reese said “G, there is no goose.” Gentry said “Yes there is. You know, the duck on the basketball game”. Jonathan stepped in after this banter had continued for quite sometime and said, “you mean you dunked the basketball.” “Yeah” Gentry said. “I guess it was a dunk and not a goose or duck.” I laughed out loud for a while on that one. Kids come up with the craziest things. I love it.

Anecdotal, Personal

A year in retrospect: A year in Focus

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2011 is a year of endless possibilities. I will not let this year come, happen, and leave without allowing it to significantly impact me and the life of others. I am entering the end of the 2010 year and holiday season knowing that a huge and meaningful chapter to my life was written this year and I am expecting nothing but great, God sized things in 2011. 2010 was one of the first years that I actually stuck to several of my New Year’s Resolutions and I am exiting that year glad that my yesterday’s were the today’s that we always put off until tomorrow. Starting a diet is always easier “tomorrow”, being vigilant in prayer and bible reading is always best put off until “tomorrow”, and making life altering decisions are usually put on that proverbial back burner of “tomorrow” as well. What if my “tomorrow” never happened?
In 2010, most of you that follow my Facebook, Twitter, and Blog know that I ran my first ever half marathon. 13.1 miles with 15,000 strangers is nothing to sneeze at for a girl that couldn’t even run 2 miles one year ago. I turned 30; I lost 45 pounds, and, most importantly, saw the vision and calling of God turn from a gestational sized dream into a budding fetus. The dream and calling of the Bridge Church being planted in the Cleveland Metro Area is in full blown pregnancy, excited about its “Grand Opening” birth this spring. We are in our Pre-Launch phase and have seen God perform many miracles and change many lives. I am beyond excited for 2011.
That being said, I’ve evaluated myself and my plans and came up with some goals/resolutions for 2011. If I don’t reach and achieve each and every one, it’s ok, but I am always striving to better myself. In 2010 I read my bible through cover to cover 2 times. In 2011, I am going to devour and eat my bible. Rather than just consuming the word and nibbling on it cover to cover, I am going to journal my way through the New Testament. This means that every day, I will not just be marinating over and reading the Word, but I am going to chew and digest it. I am going to use the SOAP model of journaling that we are doing in our Life Groups to accomplish this. (Scripture, Observation, Application, Prayer).
In 2010 I began praying Luke 10:2 twice a day. (He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. NIV) Every Christian should be a harvester. We are asking God to raise up disciple makers in the Bridge Church and for God to send us people that we can make disciples who in turn make disciples that make disciples. I am prompted to do this by my cell phone alarm. I have it set to go off at 10:02 Am and 10:02 PM every day. Doing this has changed my perspective, prayer life, and caused some major changes in the Spirit World in my area. If you are reading these random thoughts and are not a Christian or are just a casual God believer and want to know more, please contact me. I assure you that the power of the Word of God and Prayer in your life in 2011 will change your circumstance for the better. In 2011, I have made my “Scripture of the Year” Ephesians 6:18-6:19 inspired by one of Pastor Jonathan’s wonderful sermons. (18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. 19 Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.NIV)
I have now added an alarm to my phone to go off at 6:18 PM daily to remind me. I want to be a mystery revealer in 2011. I do not want to settle for ordinary. I know that the only way I will see the supernatural in my life, my family’s life, and the life of the Bridge Church is to pray without ceasing. These little “alarm clock” prayers are not my only conversations with heaven, but they assure that I am calling to my heavenly Father at all points throughout the day. I know that the amazing things God is wanting to do in the Western Cleveland suburbs will be through the hard work of “elbow grease”, but cannot and will not happen through just human hard work and effort alone. God wants all the glory and I will assure that He and He alone gets it.
On a personal level, I’d like to lose about 9 more pounds. However, if I don’t, I am healthier now than I have been in a decade and will be happy to maintain what I achieved in 2010. I’d also like to take that half marathon and turn it into a marathon. Jonathan and I have decided we are going to sign up for and run the Akron Marathon in September. A full glorious 26.2 miles awaits me. I am just amazed that I am even typing this. I’ve never been an athlete but have felt like one for the first time in my life in 2010. I cannot reiterate enough to you the power and importance of exercise in your life. I feel like a changed person. Much of the stress and frustration that we carry around can be dealt with and eliminated through taking care of your body. After all, if you are a Christian reading this, you know your body is the temple of God. Don’t pollute the temple! If you aren’t a Christian, know that carrying around mountains of fat never helped anyone. I am not some health guru, health evangelist, or personal trainer person. I still eat copious amounts of ice cream, skittles, and Five Guys. I’m not perfect. I do, however, value my health.
I would resolve to blog and write more, but I did that in 2010 and failed miserably. I love writing. The cathartic experience of putting thoughts out in the universe for others to read is second to none. However, the reality of having 2 small children, starting a church, holding numerous positions and responsibilities at the church, taking care of my physical health, taking care of my husband, volunteering at the school and in the community, and living life with Missional Purpose and Intent is too great. If I do a lot of writing, then I’ll do it. If I can’t, I can’t. I know one day I won’t wake up at 6 AM daily to 2 snuggly, yet demanding and loud boys and instead, I’ll find the sadness and solitude of silence, and then I can write. By then people may actually listen to what I have to say too because I’ll be full of years.
In 2010, I hit the milestone of turning the big 3-0! In 2011, I hit the milestone of celebrating 10 years of marriage with the love of my life and my best friend, Jonathan. It has been an amazing ride. We have been through things in our marriage that few young people ever have to deal with and have come out victorious. We have encountered some of the most major life stressors that people deal with in an entire lifetime, condensed in just a few short years. I’m so thankful that God saw fit to put us together for the wild, crazy, fun, stressful, invigorating ride of life.
In 2011 both of my boys will be in school. My oldest, Reese, is already in Kindergarten and will enter first grade. My youngest, Gentry, will start pre-school in the fall. The pre-school is just a 2 day program, but puts the speed of life into perspective. I always dreamt of being a mother and having babies and I’ve had 2 and they aren’t babies anymore!! That being said, I’m going to start focusing on the plight of mothers and infants in the US and around the world. I want to give more, do more, and help more. I have been blessed beyond belief and it’s time for me to crank up the level of blessing that I dole out to others. I already feel like Jonathan and I are givers, but you can’t out give God. I would like to every year take on a new project or cause that will outlive us.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. Truth be told, this was more for my own good. I learned long ago that if you don’t put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, and outline your goals and plans, they will never come to fruition in your life.
Anecdotal, Personal

The Story of my Life

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So, it is true. My life is anything but dull. In fact, the life I live really is the stuff that producers look for when casting and writing a reality Television program. While a majority of the so called reality shows are actually scripted, my life would need nothing added to get people to tune in. I have adventure, mayhem, conflict, romance, good food, good fun, good people, challenging situations, and morals to learn with every tale that my life brings me. I’ve recently been reminded that life is nothing if not a very good story. As the protagonist of my own life and the lead character, it is up to me to develop a story worth telling. It is my sole responsibility to live my life in such a way that when the credits roll and the plot line climaxes for the last time, people have observed something worth clapping for, perhaps even something worthy of an awards nomination. This past weekend the story of my life brought me yet another humorous chapter. When life throws curveballs, we can decide to laugh and tweak our story for entertainment value, or become sad, frustrated, upset, and throw in the towel. While the emotions went the full spectrum from laughter to anger, the decided final theme was one of a weekend well played because it will be forever etched in our memory. Murphy was at his best this week and everything that could go wrong, definitely did.
My mother, my aunt, I, and my 2 sons decided we wanted to go to Lancaster, Pennsylvania for the weekend. It is Amish country and they have a magnificent playhouse that puts on spectacular Bible stories. This year the story is “Joseph”, which is one of my sons’ favorite bible characters. The tickets to these shows are far from cheap and non-refundable because they are broadway-esque productions. After leaving North Olmsted 2 hours later than scheduled on Friday, we embarked on the adventure of 3 ladies and 2 babies. The trip there went off without a hitch except the hotel I booked on hotwire was actually in York, PA, 40 minutes from Lancaster instead of the 10 minutes that hotwire claimed, the fact that a 6 hour drive turned into a 12 hour trip due to the numerous stops dictated by middle aged women and toddlers, and the fact that once we finally did stop for dinner, they took an hour to serve us and forgot to bring me my food after everyone else had been served and was finished. On Saturday, the day started well and quickly escalated into crazy. The ankle I had twisted the prior week got sprained and my ankle turned into the size of a tennis ball. We had to get that taken care of and off to the “Plan and Fancy” Amish farm we went. We saw an amazing Amish Experience play/movie/interactive stage and then went to dinner there. Things began to turn south as our supposed Amish dinner, which was overpriced for tourists, turned out to be boxed food. Every place I had eaten in Ohio’s Amish Country was delicious but this place served Kraft macaroni and Cheese and boxed bow tie pasta noodles trying to pass them off as Amish Egg noodles! It was unreal. I have never seen anything like it and I’m surprised in an area with Amish level culinary skills could get any business at all. I sent my noodles and macaroni and cheese back. If I wanted Kraft and generic bow tie, I would go pay $.99 at my local grocer and make it myself. We got back in the car to head to the dramatic production of Joseph.
We got about a mile down the street and pulled into an Amish bakery to grab some dessert on our way and the car totally quit working. We were driving in my mother’s vehicle, so of course, she was panicked. I will say we were thankful it broke down in a parking lot, but the 95 degree, humid day and the fact we were potentially going to lose out on the whole reason for going there, the play, and lose all the money put us all in a frenzy. Not to mention the fact that home was 6 hours away and the hotel was 40 minutes away!! Also, it was Saturday night so no rental car places were open. We called AAA and they were dragging their feet, so my Aunt flagged down some guys on a motorcycle and we found a gray haired lady in the restaurant with a set of jumper cables. We sure looked like a motley crue: 3 ladies, 2 babies, 2 motorbike dudes, and one Mrs. Doubtfire look alike all trying to get my mom’s car to work. Thankfully, the jump worked and we were able to fly into the nearest Pep Boys, 2 miles away, on a wing and a prayer.
The diagnosis is that her alternator and battery had totally fried and we could not drive the vehicle. We were such a mess that the manager of the Pep Boys took mercy on us and loaded the 5 of us up in his car and he drove us to the drama. We were faced with a more serious dilemma though. How were we going to get back to the hotel where we had already checked in and had all of our stuff at and then get back the next day to get the car? We called a taxi and were quoted $70 minimum one way. Thankfully, we came up with the idea of having my Aunt call my Uncle and he connected with an area pastor who so graciously on a Saturday night at 10:30 PM came and picked us up in his church van and drove us the 40 minutes to the hotel. The same church also shuttled us back the next day. Upon arriving back to Pep Boys, we discovered they hadn’t even started working on my mom’s car because the alternator they thought they had in the store was just an empty box!! So, adding insult to injury, we had all of our luggage, hadn’t eaten since the prior day at around 4 PM, and had no vehicle. Thankfully there was a restaurant about ¼ mile down and we drug ourselves there. Finally, after killing 3 hours, her car was done. We left Lancaster and began our long journey home.
Feeling the need to reward themselves for a long weekend, my mom and Aunt insisted we had to have cracker barrel for dinner. So, even though we left super late, we drove 30 minutes OUT OF THE WAY so they could fill their craving. Mind you, there is a cracker barrel 5 minutes from our house. Why couldn’t they have just waited until a different day? So, after leaving Cracker Barrel the GPS said we’d arrive home at 10:30 but that was before nature happened. Tornado like winds, lightening, thunder, and heavy, torrential downpours hit our car. We had to go 35 miles an hour on the interstate because of visibility issues. Reese suddenly woke up out of a dead sleep and said something about his belly hurting. I lovingly told him to go back to sleep and then joked to the rest of the car that it would be the icing on the cake of our chaotic weekend if Reese vomited in the car. It wasn’t even 2 minutes later that he threw up everywhere. It was powerful, massive, and explosive. It went everywhere. All of him, splatters on Gentry, and splatters on my Aunt. Therefore, when we did arrive at home at 11:30 PM, I had the honor of cleaning him up, doing laundry, wiping up the car, taking apart his car seat, washing it, and cleaning Gentry up. Needless to say, we were glad to be home and see the sun rise on Monday.
Besides sharing this humorous, but cringe worthy story with you for entertainment value, there is a moral to this story. The moral is, you can’t control life. It isn’t up to you to control it. If I blogged about every weekend or event that played out in my life with this same outline, I would bore you. I am a magnent for uncomfortable, funny, and strange situations. I am married to Murphy. His law is tattooed on my heart. I pretty much would understand if no one that craved order and control watned to be my friend. My life is especially unpredictable at times. Novel and movie worthy events seem to follow me. Sometimes this frustrates me, but today, I am amused by it. Perhaps God just really enjoys my performances and as the author of my life and the director of my story, he gets great pleasure in watching me act in certain life scenes. Conceivably, I have won academy awards at heavens banquets and will be presented with them at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb. As the lead character in my own story, I am just glad to add another chapter.
Anecdotal, Personal

Death of a Dad

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Death is so final. I’m sorry to sit here and tell all of you who just lost somebody extremely close to you, that it never gets any easier. I wish I could say it does. The counselor in me can tell you though, that you can indeed successfully make it through the stages of grief and come out to a degree of normalcy on the other side. I was told by a wise person during my greatest time of grief that time does not heal all wounds, but it will give you the tools you need to handle the wound.

This weekend celebrates 6 years since my dad went into the coma that ultimately claimed his life. It was on Father’s Day Sunday that we sat in the family living room with him for the last time. I wish I could do that day all over again. What could I have said or done differently? He had just been discharged from the hospital that weekend where he was admitted for his long term battle with kidney issues. His transplanted kidney was failing again, but we had been down that road before and had it covered this time. As children, when his kidney first failed, my brother and I were not even considered to be kidney donors. We were too young. This time around though, we were adults and ready to be tested to see who the closest match was and to give him one of our kidneys. Although it was a struggle for us to face again, we had this path routed out and knew we would come out ahead. Life had other plans though.

While he was admitted to the hospital, my father, in his transplanted immune suppressed state, had somehow contracted meningitis. We did not know this until that Father’s Day, 2004, when he was acting drugged in the living room. He could barely stay awake and the man that was a wordsmith and genius, could barely put sentences together. We thought perhaps he was just still a little sick and exhausted. This behavior continued all day, but we had grown rather use to health problems in the Bentley home, so the worst case scenario was not even considered. The Monday after father’s day, I got a call at work to tell me to go to ICU immediately because my dad was dying. I raced out the door, with hardly an explanation to my co-workers or boss. I didn’t care what they thought and could barely comprehend what was even going on. I think at some point I must have picked up Jonathan because he ended up at the hospital with me, but I have little recollection about what happened in those following hours. All I know is that the dad I knew was gone. He was hooked up to Life-support and in a coma. We had to wear surgical gear to even go into him because they didn’t know what strain of meningitis he had. It eventually led to encephalitis and led to complete brain death. During his 3 months in a coma, he came out of the coma for a couple of days and when they put a voice box over his tracheotomy, the first thing he did was to begin singing, “How Great thou Art”. What a great anthem to our heavenly Father and enormous tribute to the kind of man my father was.

I still can’t talk about these moments very easily and even while typing them, the dam I have built around my emotions has broke loose. I had a few treasured moments with him during these days, but still carry around loads of regret. Could I have done something to change the outcome of this? I know, as an intelligent person, that I contributed nothing to his death. I imagine it is just natural to feel guilt and regret about monumental life events that alter the course of our destiny. Could we have prayed more, loved harder, pushed further? I know that logically, I couldn’t have. After a couple of days out of the coma, he went back in it? I still have no idea why. The doctors offered all kinds of explanations and did numerous tests, but they were always telling us something different. Even the doctors couldn’t agree completely. Their theories ranged from West Nile Virus to “fill in the blank” and “you name it they theorized on it”. The one thing they could all agree on though, is that during the 2nd round of coma, he had lost all brain activity. There was no way he was ever coming back.

This giant of a man, this genius of intellect, this warrior for God had renewed his mind for the final time. I ask myself almost daily why he only got 51 years on this earth, but then, almost simultaneously, I give thanks for the 51 years he did have. Not everyone gets the privilege of being raised by a dad of his caliber. I’m thankful that he was there through my entire childhood, on my wedding day, and at all of my academic graduations. Sure, he never got to meet my children, but God, in his mercy, has blessed both my boys with their own giant of a father. If your father is still alive and is even half the man my dad was, please, don’t miss out on celebrating him this weekend.